Good question…

Do dogs have fleas, or do fleas have dog?

hmmmm.

Yo mama so fat, I tried to drive around her, and I ran out of gas!

Q: What did the doe say when she came running out of the woods? A: Ill never do that for two bucks again.

While critiquing a survey instrument intended for mothers of infants
less than one year old, I came across the following question:

Have you ever breast fed your baby?

a) Yes b) No c) Dont Know

Rednecks dont let friends drive drunk,they get drunk and ride with them.

Sign in a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notice.

Sign seen on an electricity pylon: DANGER! To touch these wires will result in instant death. Anyone found doing so will be severely prosecuted.

Sign in a Japanese Hotel room: In another Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub.

Sign in a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.

Sign on a Norfolk farm: Trespassers beware! I shoot every tenth trespasser. The ninth one just left.

Q: How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two–one to do it and one to steady the chandelier.

Why did the condom fly across the room

It got pissed off!

Se encuentran dos argentinos por la calle y el uno le dice al otro:

Como andas che, tanto tiempo, que es de tu vida.

Y mira, yo siempre bien, imaginate que el otro día estaba con una mina en la cama haciendo el amor y al pie de la cama tengo un crucifijo y Jesús desclavó las manos y empezó a aplaudir.

Bah, eso no es nada, en la mía tengo un cuadro de la última cena…

(lo interrumpe el otro)

Me vas a decir que te aplaudieron también.

No, nada de eso che, ellos me hicieron la ola.

Write in C (Parody of Let it Be)

When I find my code in tons of trouble,

Friends and colleagues come to me,

Speaking words of wisdom:

Write in C.





As the deadline fast approaches,

And bugs are all that I can see,

Somewhere, someone whispers:

Write in C.





Write in C, Write in C,

Write in C, oh, Write in C.

COBOLs dead and buried,

Write in C.





I used to write a lot of FORTRAN,

For science it worked flawlessly.

Try using it for graphics!

Write in C.





If youve just spent nearly 30 hours,

Debugging some assembly,

Soon you will be glad to

Write in C.





Write in C, Write in C,

Write in C, yeah, Write in C.

BASICs not the answer.

Write in C.





Write in C, Write in C

Write in C, oh, Write in C.

Pascal wont quite cut it.

Write in C.