In a restroom at IBMs Watson Center, a supervisor had placed a sign directly above the sink. It had a single word on it:THINK!The next day, when he went to the restroom, he looked at the sign and right below, immediately above the soap dispenser, someone had carefully lettered another sign which read:THOAP!
07
May
07
May
There is a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere where the following people are stranded:
2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
2 French men and 1 French woman
2 German men and 1 German woman
2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
2 English men and 1 English woman
2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman
2 Swedish men and 1 Swedish woman
2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman
One month later on this beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere …
The 1 Italian man killed the other for the Italian woman
The 2 French men and the French woman are living happily together in a menage a trois
The 2 German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they alternate with the German woman
The 2 Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them
The 2 English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman
The Bulgarian men took one look at the endless ocean, one look at the woman and started swimming.
The two Swedish men are contemplating suicide while the gorgeous woman goes on talking about her body being her own and the true nature of feminism. But at least its not snowing and the taxes are low.
The Irish began by setting up a distillery. They dont remember if sex is in the picture, cause it gets sort of foggy after the first few litres of coconut whiskey.
07
May
IDIOT SIGHTINGS…
Sighting #1:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when the airport employee asked, Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge? I said, If it was without my knowledge, how would I know? He smiled and nodded knowingly, Thats why we ask.
Idiot Sighting #2:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine, when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals to blind people when the light is red. She responded, appalled, What on earth are blind people doing driving!
Idiot Sighting #3:
At a good-bye lunch for an old and dear coworker who is leaving the company due to downsizing, our manager spoke up and said, this is fun. We should have lunch like this more often, Not another word was spoken. We just looked at each other like deer staring into the headlights of an approaching truck.
Idiot Sighting #4:
I worked with an Individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her could not understand why her system would not turn on.
Idiot Sighting #5:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told that the keys had been accidentally locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passengers side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered it was open. Hey, I announced to the technician, its open! I know, answered the young man. I already got that side…
07
May
A very elderly gentleman, (mid nineties) very well dressed, hair well groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel smelling slightly of a good after shave, presenting a well looked-after image, walks into an upscale cocktail lounge. Seated at the bar is an elderly looking lady, in her mid-eighties.
The gentleman walks over, sits alongside of her, orders a drink, takes a sip, turns to her and says, So tell me, do I come here often?
06
May
Continuing Education Courses for Women
Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before.
The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits.
06
May
A farmer ordered a high-tech milking machine. It happened that the equipment arrived when his wife was away, so he decided to test it on himself first. He inserted his penis into the equipment, turned the switch on and voila, everything else was automatic!! He really had good time as the equipment provided him with as much pleasure as his wife did. But when the fun was over, he found that he could not
take the instrument off. He read the manual, but did not find any useful information.
He tried every button on the instrument. Some made the equipment squeeze, shake, or suck harder or less, but none would remove it. Panicking, he called the
suppliers Customer Service Hotline. The farmer: Hello, I just bought a milking machine from your company. It worked fantastic. But how can I take it off from the cows udder? Customer Service: Dont worry. The machine was programmed such that it will release automatically after collecting about 2 liters of milk.
06
May
What does the Jewish Santa Claus say?
Ho ho ho! Any of you kids wanna buy some toys?
06
May
A mob of people with water in it.
06
May
Just a reminder, Richard Pryor will be here
on Thursday to speak on behalf of the ignited Negro fund.
06
May
Q.how do you fit an elephant into a subway? A.take the s away from sub and the f away from way