Q: How many pawnbrokers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Its of no interest to them.
16
Apr
16
Apr
There was a woman who wanted to repaint her house, so she called the contractor and set an appointment to meet with him.
When the contractor came to her house they did a walk-through and he asked her what colors she would like. They came to the living room and she told him that she would like a nice, warm cream color.
The contractor wrote something down on his pad, then walked to the window and yelled, Greenside up!
The lady is a little confused, but doesnt say anything, and they continue to the dining room where she tells him, I would like a nice warm white in here, nothing stark.
The contractor writes something down on his pad, then walks to the window and again yells, Greenside up!
The lady is really confused now but still does not say anything. They continue to her bedroom and she says, I would like a nice, cool, relaxing blue in here.
The contractor writes something on his pad and again walks to the window and yells, Greenside up!
The woman is now totally perplexed and says to the contractor, Three times I have told you the color that I want, and you write something on your pad, then you walk to the window and yell greenside up. What is going on?
The contractor replies, Im sorry for any confusion. You see, I have four blondes laying sod across the street.
16
Apr
En un manicomio se encontraban unos médicos haciendo un exámen a los locos. El tema trataba sobre la identificación de las partes del cuerpo.
Pasa el primer loco y le preguntan, enseñándole una mano: ¿Qué es esto?, a lo que el loco contesta: es la nariz. Y los médicos lo retiran por no dar una respuesta correcta.
Pasa el segundo loco y le hacen la misma pregunta que al primero: ¿Qué es esto? (mostrándole la mano). Y el loco contesta: Es la boca.
Y asà siguieron pasando varios locos sin que contestaran correctamente hasta que llega el último:
Interroga un médico: ¿Qué es esto? (enseñándole la mano derecha). Contesta el loco: Es la mano derecha.
¿Y esto? (enseñándole la mano izquierda). Contesta el loco: Es la mano izquierda.
¿Y esto? (pregunta otro médico mostrando la nariz). Pues la nariz.
El loco contesta correctamente a todas y cada una de las preguntas que le hacen, y los médicos deciden darlo de alta del manicomio.
Cuando le van a comunicar que será dado de alta, le preguntan sus compañeros: Oye, ¿cómo le hiciste para contestar correctamente todas las preguntas? A lo que responde el loco, tocándose con el Ãndice la sien derecha: ¡Mucha nalga, mucha nalga!
16
Apr
Un policia detiene a un joven por correr demasiado y le indica que por estar de buen humor, le dirá 3 adivinanzas y si las acierta no le pone la multa.
Si viene una luz por la carretera ¿qué es? Una moto. No, porque puede ser Harley, Honda, Yamaha.
Si vienen dos luces por la carretera ¿qué es? Un coche. Falló, porque puede ser Bmw, Mercedes, Volvo.
En esto el conductor le dice, Bueno, la tercera la pongo yo. DÃgame, si ve una mujer alta rubia, con un bolso, muy provocativa, en una esquina y se acerca a la ventanilla de
un coche ¿qué es?
¡Hombre, una protituta!
¡Pues no, porque puede ser tu madre, tu mujer o tu hija!
16
Apr
Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a mans genitals through his wallet.
–Robin Williams
16
Apr
Q: How many statisticians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 1-3, alpha = .05
16
Apr
These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.
165. Make pancakes every morning, but dont eat them. Draw faces on them, and toss them in the closet. Watch them for several hours each day. Complain to your roommate that your pancake farm isnt evolving into a self-sufficient community. Confide in your roommate that you think the king of the pancakes has been taking bribes.
16
Apr
Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced.
16
Apr
16
Apr
A massive cold front swept across the nation this week, but its not
expected to affect the election. Says Hamilton, The Weather Channel said
the five-day forecast for Bob Dole is three days.