The car wont start, said a wife to her husband. I think theres water in the carburetor. How do you know? said the husband scornfully. You dont even know what the carburetor is. Im telling you, repeated the wife, I m sure theres water in the carburetor. Well see, mocked the husband. Let me check it out. Wheres the car? In the swimming pool.
28
Jan
28
Jan
The Mother Superior instructs two nuns to paint a new room in the convent. And dont get a drop of paint on your habits, she sternly admonishes.
The two nuns decide that the only way they will keep their habits clean is to take them off, paint the room, then put them back on. So they strip, and begin painting.
Suddenly there is a knock at the door.
Who is it? asks one of the nuns.
Blind man, comes the reply.
The nuns look at each other and shrug. No harm letting him in, one says, and opens the door.
Whoa, sister! Where do you want these blinds?
28
Jan
You gotta hand it to her!
27
Jan
Q: How many terrorists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Twenty – one to do it and nineteen to develop a distraction.
27
Jan
Q. What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A. One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with
…the other is used to carry groceries.
27
Jan
Está Pepito en su clase de Historia y les dice la maestra, El dÃa de hoy haremos un debate, los que respondan 6 preguntas correctamente ganan, y pone a los tontos de un lado y a los inteligentes del otro, junto con Pepito, para que no vaya a decir estupideces.
La maestra hace la primera pregunta: ¿Quién descubrió América?
Responden los inteligentes, Cristobal Colón maestra.
Y Pepito bien emocionado, 1 a 0 pinches burros.
Segunda pregunta, ¿En qué año descubrió Colón América?
Los inteligentes, 1492 maestra.
Y otra vez Pepito, 2-0 pinches pendejos, se la vamos a atorar.
Tercera pregunta, ¿A donde creyó Colón haber llegado?
Y otra vez los listos, A la India maestra.
Grita Pepito, ¡3-0 pinche bola de ignorantes!
La maestra, cansada de las groserÃas de Pepito grita, ¡Pepito, se para y se sale!
Contesta, El pito, maestra. 4-0 culeros.
Grita la maestra, ¡Pepito, se sale y no regresa!
Contesta, La caca, maestra, 5-0 pinche bola de estupidos.
La maestra bien enojada grita, ¡Pepito, se sale y no regresa en un mes!
Contesta emocionadÃsimo, La regla, maestra. ¡6 a 0, ganamos, ganamos!
27
Jan
Estaban en una disco un hombre y una mujer conversando; el hombre en evidente afán de conquistar a la mujer. Luego que la charla se hiciera más intima y comenzaran a besarse el hombre le dice:
¿SabÃas que puedo hacer el amor 20 veces en una misma noche?
La muchacha abre los ojos bien grandes y se le escapa una sonrisa, entonces le contesta:
Si es cierto, ¿qué estamos haciendo aqu� Vamos ahora a tu departamento.
Llegados al departamento comienzan a desvestirse pero el hombre le dice que más allá de la intimidad le gusta mantener la luz apagada. La chica accede y comienza una larga noche, pasaron una, dos, tres horas y de curiosidad prende de golpe la luz encontrándose con otro hombre. Entonces le pregunta:
Y el dueño del departamento ¿donde está?
¡Afuera, cobrando entrada!
27
Jan
A guy goes into the doctors office. There is a banana stuck in one of his ears, a carrot stuck in one nostril, and a cucumber in the other ear. The man says, Doc, this is terrible. Whats wrong with me? The doctor says, Well, first of all, youre not eating right
27
Jan
One day a bear was in a forest you know were bears hang out and he saw a rabbit he was hungry so he decided to chase it mean while a genie was chillin and saw the bear chaseing the rabbit and it was getting kinda annoying so he thought he would stop by granting them some wishes so he floated over and told them hey if you two knock it off ill grant you both two wishes they siad it was cool so the genie turned to the bear and said your bigger so you can go first and the bear said i wish i had the biggest bear dick in in all of beardom and the genie clapped his and his wish was granted he had the biggest bear dick in all of beardom
so he asked the rabbit want is your wish
he said i want a harley davidson motor cycle
the genie thought this was kinda wierd but he granted it any way it was the bears turn again so the genie said what is you final wish the bear said i want all the bears in the entir world to be female the genie granted his wish. it was the rabbits turn the genie said ok this is your last wish you should really think hard and the rabbit said no no i know what i want genie said well what is it and the rabbit said i want him to be gay and sped away on his motorcycle.
27
Jan
A: To show the armadillo that it was possible.