05
Aug

Top 20 ways you know youre addicted to Youthink.

1. Your family secretly tells you theyre taking to you to Disneyland, but for some odd reason they blindfold you for the whole ride, and when they take it off the blindfold your at a psychiartirst. You start having complex dreams about Youthink and the members.

2. You start comparing your friends to the members on the site.

3. While buying lotto tickets, you have a list of your favorite members birthdays.

4. You start remembering passages out of your term papers so that you can use them in an argument here.

5. Whenever you hear a question, you wonder if you can add it here.

6. You skipped a party with your friends so you could stay on here, drink a bottle on vodka, and pretend you are drinking with other members.

7. You start to mention this site and quoting what other members said on a thread at parties or when you get together with family/friends.

8. Its 2:30 am on a school night, and you tell yourself just five more minutes and 2 hours later you are still here.

9. Youre late to work everyday becuase you lost track of time on here.

10.When you have a crush on a YT member that youve never seen before.

11. You start buying girfts for every member on the birthday page.

12. When you walk past the computer, you automatically log on to Youthink and see whats going on.

13. While you are away from Youthink, all you can really think about is what you are missing.

14. You tell your self that you will stop comming here less and less, but find your self being on here much more than you were before.

15. When you think about this site not being on the internet anymore you get really depressed and start to cry.

16. The first thing you do when you get home is log on.

17. You wont talk to any of the newbies becuase you are mad at them for taking all of the fun.

18. You start calling Youthink your second home.

19. You start having complex dreams about Youthink and the members.

20. The only reason you pay your intern

05
Aug

You might be a redneck

You might be a redneck if…
There has ever been crime-scene tape on your front door.

05
Aug

Wide Load

You know youre a redneck if your house still has the WIDE LOAD sign on the back.

05
Aug

Lost Fingers

A man working at a lumberyard is pushing a tree through a saw when he accidentally shears off all then of his fingers. He rushes to the emergency romm of a nearby hospital where the awaiting doctor takes a look and says, Yuck! Well, give me the fingers and Ill see what I can do.

I havent got the fingers. The doctor says, What do you mean, you havent got the fingers? This is the age of medical advances. Weve got microsurgery and all sorts of incredible techniques! Why didnt you bring me the fingers?

Well, heck, doctor. I tried, but I couldnt pick em up!

05
Aug

Bear in Bar

A bear walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer. The bartender says, Sorry, we dont give beer to bears in bars.
The bear replies, If you dont give me a beer, Ill eat that lady over there.

The bartender says, Go ahead.

So the bear eats the lady and asks for a beer. The bartender says, Sorry, we dont give beer to bears on drugs.

What do mean, says the bear. Im not on drugs.

Yes, you are, that was the barbituate.

05
Aug

Hmmm…

Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and hell believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.

How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?

Why does sour cream have an Expiration date?

Do infants have as much fun in their infancy as adults do in adultery?

What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?

If con is the opposite of pro, then what is the opposite of progress?

Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?

How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didnt grow in it?

Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?

Why do we wait until a pig is dead to cure it?

Why do we wash bath towels? Arent we clean when we use them?

Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?

Why doesnt glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Do Roman paramedics refer to IVs as 4s?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word lisp to have an s in it?

What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?



Thanx to Giggles Humor List.

05
Aug

Priest and the Rabbi

A Priest and a Rabbi are riding in a plane.



After a while, the Priest turns to the Rabbi and asks, Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?



The Rabbi says, Yes, that is still one of our beliefs.



The Priest then asks, Have you ever eaten pork? To which the Rabbi replies, Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted pork. The Priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading.



Later during the flight, the Rabbi asked the Priest, Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?



The Priest replied, Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith.



The Rabbi then asked him, Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?



The Priest replied, Yes Rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke with my faith.



The Rabbi nodded understandingly for a moment and then said, A lot better than pork isnt it?

05
Aug

Learn Chinese

Ever wanted to learn a language OTHER than English? Well, heres your first Chinese lesson…

Are you harboring a fugitive- Hu Yu Hai Ding

See me A.S.A.P. – Kum Hia Nao

Small Horse – Tai Ni Po Ni

Your price is too high – No Bai Dam Thing

Did you go to the beach – Wai Yu So Tan

I bumped into a coffee table – Ai Bang Mai Ni

I think you need a facelift – Chin Tu Fat

Its very dark in here – Wai So Dim?

Has your flight been delayed? – Hao Long Wei Ting?

That was an unauthorized execution.- Lin Ching

I thought you were on a diet – Wai Yu Mun Ching?

This is a tow away zone. – No Pah King

You are not very bright – Yu So Dum

I got this for free – Ai No Pei

I am not guilty – Wai Hang Mi?

Please, stay a while longer – Wai Go Nao?

Our meeting was scheduled for next week – Wai Yu Kum Nao

They have arrived – Hia Dei Kum

Stay out of sight – Lei Lo

Hes cleaning his automobile – Wa Shing Ka

Does this bathroom stink! Hu Flung Dung?

05
Aug

Medical Bill

A man was brought to Mercy Hospital, and went in for coronary surgery.

The operation went well, and as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy waiting by his bed.

Mr. Smith, youre going to be just fine, the nun said while patting his hand.

We do have to know, however, how you intend to pay for your stay here. Are you covered by insurance?

No, Im not, the man whispered hoarsely.

Can you pay in cash?

Im afraid I cant, Sister.

Do you have any close relatives, then?

Just my sister in New Mexico, replied, but shes a spinster nun.

Nuns are not spinsters, Mr. Smith, the nun replied. They are married to God.

Okay, the man said with a smile, then bill my brother-in-law.

05
Aug

Curry

A group of us went out last week drinking. After wed gotten pretty smashed, we all decided to go for a curry. Feeling pretty drunk and stupid, the guys dared me that I couldnt down a pint of curry sauce. Being equally drunk and stupid, I took the bet. They brought me a full glass of curry sauce, and I knocked it back in one swig. I collapsed straight away, and for two weeks, I was in a korma.