Sometimes stays in bed till after 5 am.
In his sock drawer, you find pictures of women without bonnets.
Shows up at barn raisings in full Marilyn Manson makeup.
When you criticize him, he yells, Thou sucketh!
His name is Jebediah, but he goes by Jeb Daddy.
Defiantly says, If I had a radio, Id listen to alternative!.
You come upon his secret stash of colorful socks.
Uses slang expression: Talk to the hand, cause the beard aint listening.
Hes wearing his big black hat backwards.
What do you get a lawyer for his birthday?
Briefs!! ha!ha!
What do you call a sky-diving club for lawyers?
Skeet.
Q: How many Scousers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, but 200 had to apply for the job.
Llega Pepito con su mamá, que está embarazada, y le pregunta:
¿Mamá, qué es lo tienes en el estómago?
Un niño.
¿Y quien te lo dio?
Tu papá.
Pepito sale coriendo a ver a su papá y le dice:
Oye, papá, no le des niños a mi mamá, porque se los come.
A truck driver was tooling down the highway one afternoon and heard a pop. Thinking that perhaps he had blown a tire, he steered the rig onto the shoulder and walked back to check his tires.
He found a bottle laying in the gutter. He picked it up and wiped off the label to see what kind of bottle it was when a very old genie popped out.
The genie said, Man, Im too old for this! You get one wish — not three — just one.
The driver thought long and hard, and finally said, It would be really nice for all the bridges to be wide enough that over-sized loads could get through without any trouble.
The genie said, Do you know how many bridges that would be?! Cant you come up with something simpler?
The driver replied, How about if you make all the blondes as smart as brunettes?
The genie shook his head vigorously and answered, How wide would you like those bridges?
Miss Canada 1996, Danielle House, got into a bar fight and was
charged with assault after allegedly causing bodily harm to another woman.
Says Jerry Perisho: The other day I went to a Canadian beauty pageant
and a hockey game broke out.
What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A mosquito knows when to stop sucking!
Q: How does a blonde turn on the air conditioner after sex?
A: She turns the ignition key.
The couple were leaving the cocktail party, where the husband, slightly flushed, had been the life of the party.
John, she said, did anyone ever tell you how fascinating, how romantic, and how handsome you are?
No, the man replied happily, looking at his wife, I dont think anyone ever did?
Well, she snapped, then where did you ever get the idea!!!