El Rey León habÃa llamado a todos los animales de la selva y les dijo que iba a hacer una fiesta y que todos necesitaban traer una fruta, pero que al que trajera una fruta dura se la iba a meter por detrás.
Ya en la noche llega la jirafa y trae plátanos y el león lo deja entrar y asà llegan más animales, hasta que llega la ardilla cargada de nueces y ahà está el leon metiéndole las nueses por allá donde te conté y la ardilla estaba risa y risa. El leon, sorprendido, le dice, ¿Por qué te estás riendo?
Y la ardilla le contesta: ¡Es que el chango trajo cocos!
Posted in Chistes chistosos |
Un cubano se encuentra con un grupo de personas que caminan por la calle gritando consignas contra el régimen.
El individuo, que es de ideas afines, se une a ellos y empieza a gritar, a voz en cuello, las mismas consignas.
Al cabo de un rato de camino, e intrigado por la presencia de unos soldados que los siguen, decide preguntar a sus nuevos camaradas adónde se dirigen.
¡Al paredón, chico, al paredón!
Posted in Chistes chistosos |
Two doctors were in a hospital hallway one day complaining about Nurse Nancy.
Shes incredibly mixed up, said one doctor. She does everything absolutely backwards. Just last week, I told her to give a patient 2 milligrams of morphine every 10 hours. She gave him 10 milligrams every 2 hours. He damn near died on us!
The second doctor said, Thats nothing. Earlier this week, I told her to give a patient an enema every 24 hours. She tries to give him 24 enemas in one hour! The guy damn near exploded!
Suddenly, they hear this blood-curdling scream from down the hall.
Oh my God!, said the first doctor, I just realised I told Nurse Nancy to prick Mr. Smiths boil!
Posted in General / Unsorted |
A January 1994 Reuters News Service story on Manuel Oliveiras ice cream shop in Merida, Venezuela, reported on his 567 flavors, including onion, chili, beer, eggplant, smoked trout, spaghetti parmesan, chicken with rice, and spinach. He said some flavors fail; he once abandoned avocado ice cream, and tossed out 99 pounds of it, because it wasnt smooth enough.
Posted in Food |
Knock Knock
Whos there?
Hutch!
Hutch who!
Bless you, and Im right out of tissues!
Posted in Knock-knock |
How does a [ethnic] man propose marriage?
Youre having a what!
Posted in Ethnic |
Top Ten Legal Phrases That Sound Dirtier Than They Really Are:
10. Have you looked through her briefs?
9. He is one hard judge!
8. Counselor, lets do it in chambers.
7. His attorney withdrew at the last minute.
6. Is it a penal offense?
5. Better leave the handcuffs on.
4. For $200 an hour, she better be good!
3. Can you get him to drop his suit?
2. The judge gave her the stiffest one he could. And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty in law but isnt:
1. Think you can get me off?
Posted in Top Lists |
Q. Whats the difference between an elephant and a boiled potato?
A. It takes longer to mash an elephant.
Q. What do you get when you cross an elephant and a tea bag?
A. A tea bag that never forgets.
Q. Why do elephants wear suspenders?
A. To hold up their elepants.
Q. What is gray, has four legs, and a trunk?
A. A mouse on vacation.
Posted in General / Unsorted |
One day a blonde finds out from her friend that her boyfriend is cheating on her. So one day she goes out to the mall and buys a gun. After that she goes to her boyfriends house. She busts down the door and points the gun at her head. "What are you doing? says her boyfriend."Shut up! Youre next!"
Posted in Blonde |
Herolal is driving with Bhola as his passenger, when he decides to pull over because he suspects that his turn signal may not be working.
He asks Bhola if he doesnt mind stepping out of the car to check the lights while he tests them. Bhola steps out and stands in front of the car.
Herolal turns on the turn signal and asks, Is it working?
To which Bhola responds, Yes, its working….No, its not working….Yes, its working….No, its not working….
Posted in General / Unsorted |