The more people use it the bigger it gets. If you play with it too much you can go blind. You wouldnt believe the things people put in there! Some people think they know how to move around in it, but they really cant interface. In the long-distant past, its only purpose was to receive information considered vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think thats the only thing it should be used for, but most folks
today use it for fun most of the time. It has no conscience and no memory. Left to its own devices, it will just do the same damn dumb things it did before. It provides a way to interact with other people. Some people take this interaction very seriously, others treat it as a lark. Sometimes its hard to tell what kind of person youre dealing with until its
too late. If you dont apply the appropriate protective measures, it can spread viruses. It has no brain of its own. Instead, it uses yours. If you use it too much, youll find it becomes more and more difficult to think coherently. You think youre just playing around, but you can get involved in something that takes 9 months to finish. The part you see is actually just the front end of a very complicated system. If youre not careful what you do with it, it can get you in big trouble. It has its own agenda. Somehow, no matter how good your intentions, it will warp your behavior. Later you may ask yourself why on earth did I do that? Some folks have it, some dont. Those who have it think that those who dont have it are somehow inferior. Those who dont have it may agree that its a nifty toy, but think its not worth the fuss that those who do have it make about it. Still, many of those who dont have it spend all their time trying to
access it. Once youve started playing with it, its hard to stop. Some people would just play with it all day if they didnt have work to do. Some people believe in security and a
A woman gives birth to a baby and afterward the doctor comes into the room and says, I have something to tell you about your child…
The woman slowly sits up with a worried look on her face and says, Whats wrong with it?
The doctor says, Theres nothing really wrong with it, its just a little different! Its a hermaphrodite.
The woman looks confused. A hermaphrodite, whats that?
The doctor replies, It has both features of a male and a female.
The woman looks relieved. What? You mean it has a penis AND a brain?
In article <1521@imagine.PAWL.RPI.EDU> William_Johnsonats.rpi.edu@itsgw.rpi.edu writes:
I never did understand why it was supposed to be MEN that were responsible
for the keeping of the toilet seat! Some women consistently complain (note
the SOME) when men leave the seat up, and also complain when men dont put
the seat up to begin with. Now I find the second disgusting, no one wants
to sit on a wet toilet seat. But if the last person in the bathroom was
female, the men are expected to lift the seat.
OK, I didnt post this last time it came around, but here is the
sign I have in my bathroom.
As an historical note, I left a military sub-contractor (which is why
the notice is cast in Milspeak) and lived for 3 weeks with a friend of
the female persuasion, who constantly got on my case to keep the seat
down. I vowed revenge when I got my own apartment, so
A dog walks into a JobCentre and says to the assistant: Excuse me pal, you got any jobs for me?
The assistant picks himself up off the floor and recomposes himself – Um, yeah, leave it with me, come back in an hour and Ill see what I can do for you.
The dog leaves. The assistant rings Billy Smarts Circus. Hey Billy – you interested in a talking Dog?
Of course, send him along! If hes any good therell be a few quid in it for you!
An hour later, the dog pads back into the JobCentre. The assistant gushes: Great news! Youve got an interview tommorow at Billy Smarts Circus!
The dog looks puzzled. What does a circus want with a bricklayer?
An attorney telephoned the governor just after midnight, insisting that he talk to him regarding a matter of utmost urgency.
An aide eventually agreed to wake up the governor.
So, what is it? grumbled the governor.
Judge Garber has just died said the attorney, and I want to take his place.
The governor replied: Well, its OK with me if its OK with the undertaker.
Q: How many NRA members does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two–one to do it and the other one to get his dick out of the gun.
Knock Knock
Whos there?
Beets!
Beets who?
Beets me!
Martin had just received his brand new drivers license. The family troops out to the driveway, and climbs in the car, where he is going to take them for a ride for the first time. Dad immediately heads for the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver.
Ill bet youre back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive, says the beaming boy to his father.
Nope, comes dads reply, Im gonna sit here and kick the back of your seat as you drive, just like youve been doing to me all these years.
Always hire a rich attorney.