15
Apr

Beauty!

Two fellows have been at the bar now for quite a while, downing several mugs with abandon. They both look at the far end of the bar, in the direction of an unattractive woman who came in a while back.

The first fellow looks back at the second fellow and says, Ya know, that woman is looking better and better, isnt she?

The second fellow takes another look at the woman, then looks back at his friend and says, well, I guess what they say is true, then, eh?

The first fellow asks, Well, what DO they say? The second fellow answers, Beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder!

15
Apr

french man

What do you call a French man wearing sandals?

A French soldier.

15
Apr

Ramdom silliness

A distraught patient phoned her doctors office. Was it true, the woman wanted
to know, that the medication the doctor had prescribed was for the rest of her
life? She was told that it was. There was a moment of silence before the woman
continued, Im wondering, then, just how serious my condition is. This
prescription is marked NO REFILLS.

Henry Cate III

14
Apr

If you think Purina is

If you think Purina is some kind of Ex-Lax.

Youve ever given a set of Tupperware ice tea glasses as a wedding present.

Your dungarees expose more than half of your crack in the back because the weight of your pocket knife.

14
Apr

La maestra manda a los

La maestra manda a los alumnos a investigar sobre cosas que contengan pelos. Al día siguiente:

A ver tú, Anita.

La toalla, maestra.

Muy bien. Tú, Juanito.

La alfombra, maestra.

¡Perfecto!

A ver tú, Pepito.

Las bolas de billar, maestra.

Pero, Pepito, las bolas de billar no tienen pelos.

¿Ah, no? ¡Villar muestra tus bolas!

14
Apr

Knock Knock Whos there? Cigarette! Cigarette who? Cigarette life

Knock Knock
Whos there?
Cigarette!
Cigarette who?
Cigarette life if you dont weaken!

14
Apr

What do you get when

What do you get when you cross Ted Kaczyski with Monica Lewinsky?

– Dynamite Blowjobs.

14
Apr

We are born naked, wet

We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.

14
Apr

Airline Seatbelts

Told by Don Criqui on NBC morning news:

After telling of Jose Cansecos recent run-in with an airline stewardess
over not wanting to wear a seatbelt…

Once when Muhammed Ali was flying, the stewardess came over and asked
him to fasten his seatbelt. Ali told the stewardess, Superman dont
need no seatbelt.

The stewardess replied, Champ, Superman dont need no plane.

14
Apr

President Clinton

There was no action at the White House the past few days, hear about this?

Yea, I guess it was labeled a No Open Fly zone!