The confused young man couldnt decide whether to marry Kathryn or Edith. Try as he might, he just could not make up his mind.
Unwilling to give up either, he strung them along for far too long. This indecision continued until both young women got tired of the situation and left him for good.
Moral of the story: You cant have your Kate and Edith too!
Q : Whats the difference between Malaysia & the US?
A : USs got Bill Clinton, Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Stevie Wonder; Malaysias got Mahathir, no cash, no hope and bloody wonder!
Sell them to HP.
Q: How many Filipinoes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: We dont know. The new bulb keeps getting shot at the airport.
Tres niños están discutiendo sobre quién de ellos tiene mejor memoria.
Dice el primero:
Yo recuerdo cuando dije la primera palabra.
Y yo recuerdo el dÃa en que empecé a caminar, afirma el segundo.
Y dice Pepito:
Todo eso no es nada. Yo recuerdo que un dÃa fui a una fiesta con mi papá y volvà con mi futura mamá.
Un dÃa pasa un carrazo de lujo en una gran avenida, con un chavo hijo de papi…
Tras él venÃa un autobús de pasajeros echando carreras… El hijo de papi abre la puerta de su carro para bajar y el autobús se lleva la puerta del carro…
El hijo de papi, enfurecido, le grita al chofer:
¡MIRA LO QUE HICISTE, BABOSITO, FREGASTE MI PUERTA! ¡IMBECIL!
Una persona cercana le dice:
Es usted muy materialista, reclama su puerta y no se da cuenta de que tambiÉn se ha llevado su brazo…
¡DEMONIOS, MI RELOJ DE DIAMANTES!
Knock Knock
Whos there?
Alice!
Alice who?
Im Alice chasing rainbows….!
What do you call a family of Mexicans standing in front of their house?
– A spicket fence.
The womans husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. And You know what? What dear? She gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth. Im beginning to think youre bad luck.
There was a newlywed that just got back from there honeymoon and they where all ways having sex and one night they where babysiting there friends baby and they did not want to say things like you want to have sex a round the baby so the girl said from here on we say did you leave the dryer door open that night the guy said did you leave the dryer door open and she said no… i closed it later the girl woke up and said no i think i left the dryer do open and the guy said no it was a small load and i did it by hand.