There were these three guys at a football game and it just so happened that they were sitting behind three nuns. They couldnt see really well over their habits, so one of the guys says, "Man, I wish I lived in Ohio, theres only 25 Catholics there." One of the other guys says, "Well, I wish I lived in Idaho because there is only 20 Catholics there." Then the last guy says, "Well, I wish I lived in Oregon there are only 15 Catholics there. Then one of the nuns turns around and says, "Why dont you go to hell — there are no Catholics there!"
17
Sep
17
Sep
Recently overheard definition of an economist: someone whos good with
figures, but doesnt have enough personality to become an accountant.
17
Sep
What does a fish use to get high? Seaweed!
17
Sep
Youd never believe it, but I bumped into a famous stuntman in a motorcycle shop the other day.
He was complaining because he couldnt decide whether to buy a bike with a high top speed but poor acceleration, or one with lots of torque and a fast acceleration but a poor top speed.
Eventually he decided on the second one because it cost a lot less.
After all… torque is cheap.
17
Sep
How can a woman tell if she is having a super orgasm?
Her husband wakes up.
17
Sep
A ninety year old man is sitting on a park bench crying. The police drive by and see him. They stop to see what is wrong.
Police: Whats wrong?
Elderly Man: Im married to a twenty year old woman. (Continues to cry)
Police: Sir, thats nothing to cry about, you should be happy.
Elderly man: You dont understand … (tears continue to flow) … she wants to have sex every morning and sex every evening. (Crying becomes more intense).
Police: Thats every mans dream … so why are you crying?
Elderly man: (Crying becomes uncontrollable) I cant find my way home!!!
16
Sep
IBM: International Brotherhood of Magicians
16
Sep
A lawyer charged a client $500.00 for legal services. The client paid him with crisp new $100.00 bills. After the client left, the lawyer discovered that two of the bills had stuck together — hed been overpaid by $100.00.
The ethical dilemma for the lawyer: Should he tell his partner?
16
Sep
Knock Knock
Whos there?
Ima!
Ima who?
Ima girl who cant say no…!
16
Sep
Q: What do a blonde and your computer have in common?
A: You dont know how much either of them mean to you until they go down on you.