A woman was pregnant with triplets when a robber came through her door and shot her three times. One bullet went into each of the children.
At the hospital, the doctor told her that all of her children were fine, but that sometime in their lives, they would pass the bullets in their stool.
Years later, one of the woman’s teen-age daughters approached her and said, Mom! Youll never guess what happened!
Mom said, You passed a bullet, didnt you? Shocked at her mothers reply, the daughter asked how she knew, and Mom told her the story.
A week later the other teenage daughter had the same experience. Mom! she said, Youll never guess what happened to me! Mom guessed correctly, sat her down and told her the story.
The following week, the womans teen-age son approached her and exclaimed, Mom! Youll never guess what happended to me!
You pooped a bullet, didnt you?
No, said the son. I was jacking off and I killed the dog!
Posted in General / Unsorted |
At a recent interview, it seems that Bill Clinton broke out in rage after being asked a line of questions about him being controlled.
Interviewer: Who pulls your strings, Bill? What special interests control you?
Clinton (visibly upset): You leave Hillary out of this!
Posted in Political |
Un homosexual pasaba por una casa en construcción, y los albañiles gritaron:
¡Adiós maricón!
Y él les respondió:
¡Adiós albañilotes feos, sucios y fuchis!
Al dÃa siguiente, volvió a pasar por la misma obra, pero esta vez los albañiles gritaron:
¡Adiós mamacita!
A lo que respondió:
¡Hasta luego, señores arquitectos!
Posted in Chistes chistosos |
Un loco llega a la oficina del manicomio a quejarse:
Buenas, vengo porque mi compañero de cuarto no me deja dormir.
¿Por qué?, le pregunta el secretario.
Tiene complejo de motocicleta.
¿Y qué es lo que le molesta, el ruido que él hace?
No, lo que me molesta es el humo.
Posted in Chistes chistosos |
Q: What do little ghosts drink?
A: Evaporated milk.
Q: Why do cemeteries have fences around them?
A: Because people are dying to get in.
Q: When do ghosts usually appear?
A: Just before someone screams.
Q: What should you say when you meet a ghost?
A: How do you boo, sir? How do you boo?
Q: Whats a ghosts favorite breakfast?
A: Ghost toasties with booberries.
Q: Whats soft, moldy and flies?
A: A spoiled bat.
Q: What did the policeman say when a black widow spider ran down his back?
A: Youre under a vest!
Q: What happened to the monster that took the five oclock train home?
A: He had to give it back.
Q: Why did the monster salute his vegetable soup?
A: He looked in his bowl and saw a kernel of corn.
Q: What would you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman?
A: A dead ringer.
Q: What did Dracula say then he saw a giraffe for the first time?
A: Id like to get to gnaw you.
Q: Which story do all little witches love to hear at bedtime?
A: Ghoul Deluxe and the Three Scares.
Q: Why do dragons sleep during the day?
A: So they can fight knights.
Q: Where does Dracula keep his valuables?
A: In a blood bank.
Q: How does a witch tell time?
A: She looks at her witch watch.
Q: Where can you see a real ugly monster?
A: In the mirror.
Q: When is it bad luck to see a black cat?
A: When youre a mouse. Q: Why did the monster eat the caboose? A: The locomotive told him to Choo, choo.
Q: Whats the best place for a mirror?
A: In a graveyard. It can double your mummy.
Q: What do you call a ghost in a torn sheet?
A: A holy terror.
Q: Why do witches think theyre funny?
A: Every time they look in the mirror, it cracks up.
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They wear masking tape.
Q: What would you find on a haunted beach?
A: A sand witch.
Q: Who has a broom and flies?
A: A jelly-covered janitor.
Q: What time would it be if five demons were chasing you?
A: Five after one.
Q: Why dont skeletons like parties?
A: They have no body to dance with.
Q: What did the bat say to the witchs hat?
A: You go on ahead. Ill hang around for a while.
Q: What if you crossed a rabbit with a wolf?
A: Youd get a harewolf.
Q: What happens when a flying witch breaks the sound barrier?
A: You hear the broom boom.
Q: What goes Oob, oob!?
A: A witch in reverse.
Q: How do you make a milkshake?
A: You sneak up behind a glass of milk and yell Boo!
Q: What happens to a fast witch on a slow broom?
A: She flies off the handle.
Q: Why do demons hang out with ghouls?
A: Because demons are a ghouls best friend.
Q: Why did the other kids have to let the vampire play baseball?
A: It was his bat.
Q: What did the mother ghost say to the baby ghost?
A: Put your boos and shocks on.
Q: What did the lesbian vampire say to the other?
A: See you n
Posted in General / Unsorted |
Whats the difference between a lawyer and a snake?
When you run over a snake, you dont back up to make sure its dead.
Posted in General / Unsorted |
Before you give a colleague a piece of your mind, be sure you can spare it.
Posted in Business |
Do employees of the Lipton Tea company take coffee breaks?
Posted in One Liners |
How do you find a blind man at a nude beach?
It isnt hard…
Posted in Blind |
Q: Why are blondes hurt by peoples words?
A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.
Posted in Blonde |