Manolo se encontraba puliendo un poste de metal con un pañuelo. En eso llega Venancio:
¿Por qué estás haciendo eso?
Manolo le contesta enseñándole la cabeza:
¿Qué no ves el chichote que tengo?
¡Hombre! ¿Y eso qué tiene que ver?
Es que el doctor me dijo que me limpiara en el sitio donde me golpeé.
Juancho compró una Kawasaki al llegar a Puerto Rico. Entonces se va a probarla a la autopista. La acelera al máximo y mas al frente va un Porche y Juancho se le pega y le dice:
¿Conoce mi Kawazaki?
Y el del Porche acelera y se va mas al frente y Juancho se le pega de nuevo y le dice:
¿Conoce mi Kawazaki?
El del porche se le despega otra vez y Juancho se le vuelve a pegar…
¿Conoce mi Kawazaki?
El del Porche ya estaba enpezando a enojarse y le dice:
SÃ, la conozco.
Y Juancho le dice:
¡Pues dime donde están los frenos que no puedo parar!
For the first bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
See if they can do it again.
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For the second bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.
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For the third bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.
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For the fourth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.
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For the fifth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.
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For the sixth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.
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For the seventh bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
Say they need an upgrade
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.
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For the eighth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
Find a way around it
Say they need an upgrade
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.
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For the ninth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
Blame it on the hardware
Find a way around it
Say they need an upgrade
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.
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For the tenth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
Change the documentation
Blame it on the hardware
Find a way around it
Say they need an upgrade
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.
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For the eleventh bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
Say its not supported
Change the documentation
Blame it on the hardware
Find a way around it
Say they need an upgrade
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.
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For the twelfth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
Tell them its a feature
Say its not supported
Change the documentation
Blame it on the hardware
Find a way around it
Say they need an upgrade
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.
The wife approaches her husband wearing the exact same sexy little negligee she wore on their wedding night.
She looks at her husband and says, Honey, do you remember this?
He looks up at her and replies, Yes dear, I do, you wore that same negligee the night we were married.
Thats right. she replied, And do you remember what you said to me that night?
He nods and says, Yes dear, I still remember.
Well, what was it?
He responds, Well honey, as I remember, I said, Ohhhhhhh, Baby, Im going to suck the life out of those big tits and screw your brains out!
She giggles and says, Yes, That was it. That was exactly what you said. And now its 50 years later, Im in the same negligee I wore that night. What do you have to say tonight?
Again, he looks up at her and looks her up and down and says, Mission Accomplished.
People Cant Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
What do you call a white man with a black man?
– A lawyer.
What do you call a white man with three black men?
– A victim.
What do you call a white man with five black men?
– A coach.
What do you call a white man with two hundred black men?
– A warden.
What do you call a white man surrounded by 30,000 black men?
– Postmaster General.
Two tourists were driving through Louisiana.As they were approaching Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town.They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee, Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us?Would you please pronounce where we are…very slowly?The blonde guy leaned over the counter and said, Burrrrrr-gerrrrr Kiiinnnggg.
In Italy a poll was taken to determine why men get up at night. Here are the results:
10 % to raid the fridge
15 % to have a pee
75 % to go home
Saddam called President Clinton and said: Bill, I called you because I had this incredible dream last night. I could see all of America, and it was beautiful and on top of every building, there was a flag.
Clinton said:Saddam, what was on the flag? Sadam said: Allah is God, God is Allah.
Clinton said: You know, Saddam, Im really glad you called because last night I had a dream too. I could see all of Baghdad, and it was even more beautiful than before the war; it had been completely rebuilt. And on every building there was a flag.
Saddam said: Bill, what were on the flags?
Clinton replied: I really dont know. I cant read Hebrew!
A guy traveling through the prairies of the USA stopped at a small town and went to a bar. He stood at the end of the bar, ordered a drink, and lit up a cigar. As he sipped his drink, he stood there quietly blowing smoke rings. After he blew nine or ten smoke rings into the air, an angry American Indian stomped up to him and said, One more remark like that and Ill smash your face in!