A boy was taking care of his baby sister while his parents went to town shopping. He decided to go fishing and he had to take her along.
Ill never do that again! he told his mother that evening. I didnt catch a thing!
Oh, next time Im sure shell be quiet and not scare the fish away, his mother said.
The boy said, It wasnt that. She ate all the bait!
En la clase, la profesora comienza a dar una clase de vocabulario:
A ver, Pepita, decime una palabra que comience con C.
Y antes de que aquella pudiera responder, Jaimito la interrumpe y grita:
¡Culo! ¡Concha!
La maestra, conteniendo su furia continúa:
A ver, Raulito, una palabra con T.
Pero antes de que aquel pudiera hablar, Jaimito interrumpió:
¡Teta!
La profesora, que ardÃa en rabia, suspiró un momento y pensó:
Ahora le cago a este infeliz.
A ver, Jaimito, decime una palabra con E.
Y Jaimito pensaba y pensaba:
¡La puta! Una groserÃa con E… Una groserÃa con E…
Finalmente responde:
¡Ah, ya sé, profe: enano!
¡Muy bien, Jaimito!
¡Pero con una pija asà de grande!
Two girls were roommates.
One evening, Millie came running in, shedding clothes on the way to the bathroom.
She yelled, Hurry up Tillie, get ready for our date!
Tillie didnt know anything about the date and said so.
Millie explained that shed met two really great looking guys and had made dates for both of them for that evening.
Tillie said, Im not going out on any more blind dates.
Why not?
Theyre always the same, said Tillie, Its sex, sex, sex!
Nothing but a pain in the ass!
Millie looked at her in disbelief and exclaimed, Honey, youre doing it wrong!
Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying three dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, Sorry, gentlemen, only two carrions allowed per passenger.
Sardar Santa Singh goes to a Udipi hotel to have something to eat. He orders a Masala Dosa. The waiter promptly gets him the dish but is surprised to see that Santa eats only the masala leaving the dosa behind. Santa then orders for 1 plate Samosa. Again this time the waiter notices that Santa eats only the filling and not the shell. Waiter is very curious. Santa next orders for Batata Vada. This time around also Santa eats only the filling and leaves the shell behind. Waiter is losing his patience and walking upto Santa asks him, Sardarji, aap dish ke under ka hi cheez kyon khaa rahe ho, kya baki cheez pasand nahi aaya..?
Santa Singh says, Arre bhaiyya, aisi baat nahi. Hamaari tabiyat kuch teekh nahi isliye doctor ne kaha ki baahar ka cheez mat khaya karo…
The lifeguard told the mother to make her young son stop urinating in the pool.
Everyone knows, the mother lectured him, that from time to time, young children will urinate in a pool!
Oh really? said the lifeguard, from the diving board?!
Q: What is Clintons plan to create thousands of small businesses?
A: Take thousands of big businesses and wait four years.
Mom, how did I get my name?
asked a boy I name all my children after the first thing I see on the way to the hospital. Like your sisters name is Running Deer and your brothers name is Crawling Lizard. Why do you ask, Two Dogs Pee?
An army Major visiting the sick soldiers, went to one private and asked, Whats your problem, Soldier?
Chronic syphilis, Sir.
What treatment are you getting?
Five minutes with the wire brush each day.
Whats your ambition?
To get back to the front, Sir.
Good man, said the Major.
He went to the next bed, Whats your problem, Soldier?
Chronic piles, Sir.
What treatment are you getting?
Five minutes with the wire brush each day.
Whats your ambition?
To get back to the front, Sir.
Good man, barked the Major.
He moved to the next bed, Whats your problem, Soldier?
Chronic gum disease, Sir
What treatment are you getting?
Five minutes with the wire brush each day.
Whats your ambition?
To get the wire brush before the other two, Sir!
Dos homosexuales van caminando por la calle. Uno de ellos comenta:
¡Ay, mana, acabo de venir de la cita con mi urólogo!
¡Ay! ¿Y qué te dijo?
Me diagnosticaron piedritas en los riñones.
¡Babosa, eso te pasa por meterte con albañiles!