The following are new Windows messages that are under consideration for the planned Windows 2000:
1. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.
2. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
3. Press any key except… no, No, NO, NOT THAT ONE!
4. Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
5. This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game?
6. Windows message: Error saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)
7. This is a message from God Gates: Rebooting the world. Please log off.
8. To shut down your system, type WIN
9. BREAKFAST.SYS halted… Cereal port not responding.
10. COFFEE.SYS missing… Insert cup in cup holder and press any key.
11. File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
12. Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User.
13. Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)
14. WinErr 16547: LPT1 not found. Use backup. (PENCIL & PAPER.SYS)
15. User Error: Replace user.
16. Windows VirusScan 1.0 – Windows found: Remove it? (Y/N)
17. Your hard drive has been scanned and all stolen software titles have been deleted. The police are on the way.
What is the difference between bushs tie and horses tail ?
horses tail covers the whole asshole.
Prisoner: Look here, doctor! Youve already removed my spleen, tonsils, adenoids, and one of my kidneys. I only came to see if you could get me out of this place!
Doctor: I am, bit by bit.
You know youre in a redneck hotel when you phone the front office and say, "Ive got a leak in the sink." And they say, "Go ahead!"
Your Mommas so fat the last time she saw 90210 was on a scale!
You might be a redneck if…
Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.
Knock Knock
Whos there?
Yucca!
Yucca who?
Yucca catch more flies with honey than vinegar!
When a sign that says Say No To Crack! reminds you to pull up your jeans.
Your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town.
Getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.
tis man walks in to a dinner and says can i use your bathroom the man says yes let me show you where thay are the man say ok and they to he back of the dinner and they come to the bathroom door so they walk in and the guy says would you like the singing toilet or the glass toilet and the man says Ill take the singing toiletso the guy walks in to the stall and comes back out and says man do you know how enoying that toilet is all it sings is DO YOU SEE WHAT I SEE!!
Yo mama so nasty, her favorite meal is chicken pox pie.