Old and New Jokes

Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat people say Taxi!

Clinton is trying to tell us a no-frills medical care plan. Trouble is, medical care is a frill.

Pepito estaba en el baño masturbándose y la mamá le abre la puerta para ver qué estaba haciendo y cuando lo ve le dice:

Pepito, esto va contra la religión, esto va contra la moral, esto va contra lo natural.

Y Pepito la interrumpe y le dice: Salte mami, ¡esto va contra la pared!

Itll hit you in a minute.

The yoo-hoo you you-hew into the forest is the yoo-hoo you get back.

Knock knock



whos there?







poo







poo who?



knock knock





whos there?







poo







poo who?



Poo Nani.

I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I cant wait to exchange.

– Henry Youngman

An Amish boy was driving his horse-drawn buggy to town when he was stopped by a highway patrol officer.

Im not going to cite you, said the officer, I just wanted to warn you that the reflector on the back of your buggy is broken and it could be dangerous.

I thank thee, said the Amish boy, I shall have my father repair it as soon as I return home.

Also, said the officer, I noticed that one of the reins to your horse is tied around your horses testicles. Some might consider this to be cruelty to animals so youd best have your father check this, too.

Again I thank thee, said the Amish boy, I shall have my father check this also when I return home.

True to his word, when the Amish boy got home he told his father about the broken reflector and his father said that he would repair it immediately.

Also, said the Amish boy, the policeman said that there was something wrong with our emergency brake.

A wife asks her husband, Honey, if I died, would you remarry?

After a considerable period of grieving, I guess I would. We all need companionship.

If I died and you remarried, the wife asks, would she live in this house?

We spent a lot of money getting this house just the way we want it. Im not going to get rid of my house. I guess she would live in this house.

If I died and you remarried, and she lived in this house, the wife asks, would she sleep in our bed?

Well, the bed is brand new, and it cost us $2,000. Its going to last a long time, so I guess she would.

If I died and you remarried, and she lived in this house and slept in our bed, would she use my golf clubs? Oh, no, the husband replies. Shes left-handed.

Q: Did you hear that joke about the infinite line?
A: Dont worry, It doesnt have a point!