A blonde goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer decides to start with the basics. So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?
The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for about 30 seconds before replying, Ehhhh .. 22!
The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. And can you tell us your height, please?
The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag. She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top of her head. She checks the measurement and announces, Five foot two!
This isnt looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics. And uhh, just to confirm for our records, your name please?
The blonde bobs her head from side to side for about twenty seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before replying, Mandy!
The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks, Just out of curiosity, Miss. We can understand your counting on your fingers to work out your age, and the measuring tape for your height is obvious, but what were you doing when we asked you your name?
Ohh that!, replies the blonde, Thats just me running through Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you….
Belles Constant: The ratio of time involved in work to time available for work is about 0.6. – from a 1977 JIR article of the same title by Daniel McIvor and Olsen Belle, in which it is observed that knowledge of this constant is most useful in planning long-range projects. It is based on such things as an analysis of an eight hour workday in which only 4.8 hours are actually spent working (or 0.6 of the time available), with the rest being spent on coffee breaks, bathroom visits, resting, walking, fiddling around, and trying to determine what to do next.
Device used to catch the Etherbunny.
yo mama sooo dumb she thought taco bell was a mexican phone compaine
Q: What do cannibals make out of politicians?
A: Bologna sandwiches.
A truck driver was driving down the highway when he saw a priest at the side of the road. He stopped to pick up the priest and give him a ride.
A ways down the road the truck driver saw a lawyer on the side of the road. He turned the truck on a direct course with the lawyer. Then he thought, Oh no, I have a priest in the truck. I cant run down this lawyer, and at the last second the truck driver swerved to miss the lawyer.
Regardless, the truck driver heard a thump outside of the truck. He looked in his rear-view mirror but didnt see anything.
He turned to the priest and said, Sorry Father, I just missed that lawyer at the side of the road.
And the priest replied, Dont worry son. I got him with my door.
-=} Randall {=- 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
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Yo mammas so stupid she got trapped in a bathroom and wet her pants!
When blondes have more fun, do they know it?
Q: How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
A1: None. They have machines that do that now.
A2: Only one, but hell break ten bulbs before figuring out that they cant just be pushed in.
A3: One, but only after asking, Why? (Oh, wow! Is it like dark, man?)
A4: Two: one to hold the bulb, and one to turn his throne (but only after they figure out that you have to turn the bulb).
A5: Twenty. One to hold the bulb, and nineteen to drink until the room spins.
An expired license plate means another decoration for your living room wall.
You think Old Yeller is a movie about your brothers tooth.
You watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.