O come, all ye Grateful,
Deadheads to the concert.
O come, Grateful Deadheads,
And camp in the street.
Bring rolling papers,
Dont forget your sleeping bags.
O come get us some floor seats,
Weve followed them for four weeks,
O come get us some floor seats,
To see the Lord.
O come, all ye hippies,
Throwbacks to the Sixties.
Paint flowers on your van,
And dont wash your feet.
Wear your bell-bottoms,
And your tie-dye t-shirts.
O come let us adore them,
Weve quit our day jobs for them,
O come let us adore, them,
Garcias the Lord.
Posted in General / Unsorted |
A blonde was looking at the stars. She says: oh, I understand how astronomers figure out the distance of the stars and sizes and temperatures and all that, but what really gets me is how they find out what their names are.
Posted in Blonde |
Three men, an Scot, an English man and a sumo wrestler were going to commit suicide by jumping of the top of a building.
The Scot jumped off and shouted God save Scotland!
The English man jumped off and shouted God Save England!
The Sumo wrestler jumped off and shouted God save the person who I land on!
Posted in General / Unsorted |
A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest and writers cramp.
Posted in Pun Fun |
A newly established lawyer, wanting to impress the first client coming into his office, picked up the phone and said, Im sorry, but I have a tremendous case load and wont be able to look into this for at least a month.
He then hung up, turned to the young man in his office and asked, What can I do for you, sir?
Nothing, replied the young man.
Im just here to hook up your phone.
Posted in Lawyer |
Un hombre de 99 años le presume a otro que él lo puede hacer sin necesidad de tomar Viagra, porque su doctor le suministró una terapia muy efectiva.
El otro, envidioso, va con su médico y le exige que le aplique una terapia igual de efectiva.
La terapia es muy sencilla: solamente diga lo mismo que dice su amigo, le informa el galeno.
Posted in Chistes chistosos |
Hay dos tipos de trabajadores: los mayas y los aztecas.
Los mayas son aquellos que todos los dÃas llegan al trabajo una hora más tarde; se van a desayunar; vuelven tres horas después y preguntan:
¿MAYA-mado alguien?
Los aztecas son aquellos que llegan al trabajo; checan tarjeta y se marchan con la intención de no volver, pero antes de irse le dicen al compañero:
AZTECA-rgo de lo mÃo.
Posted in Chistes chistosos |
En la escuela la profesora le pregunta a Jaimito:
Jaimito, dime una palabra que tenga muchas o.
Y Jaimito dice:
Goloso.
Luego la maestra le pregunta a Pepito:
Dime una palabra que tenga muchas o.
Y pepito dice:
¡Goooooooool!
Posted in Chistes chistosos |
A Congressman was once asked about his attitude toward whiskey.
If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then Im against it.
But if you mean the elixir of Christmas cheer, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then Im for it.
This is my position, and I will not compromise!
Posted in Seasonal / Holiday |
Q: What does the Star Trek Enterprise and tiolet paper have in common?
A: They both circle around uranus searching for klingons!
Posted in General / Unsorted |