Un señor está con un paquete de papeles frente a la trituradora. Luce desconcertado, mira por un lado, mira por el otro. En eso pasa un empleado y muy amablemente le ofrece ayuda, toma el paquete de papeles, los coloca en una ranura y se oye el ruido que produce la máquina cuando se hacen trizas.
El empleado le dice al señor:
¿Ve qué fácil?
El señor le dice:
Y por dónde salen las copias?
Q:What is the difference between a tick and
AOL?
A: A tick falls off when you die!
One afternoon, there was this good witch who was flying along, when all of a sudden, she heard this soft crying from down below. When she landed, she saw this yellow frog. Touched by his sadness, the witch asked why he was crying.
Sniff. None of the other frogs will let me join in all their frog games. Boo hoo.
Dont cry, little one., replied the witch, and with a wave of her magic wand, the frog turned green. All happy now, the frog was checking himself over when he noticed that his penis was still yellow. He asked an embarrassed witch about this, and she told him that there were some things that she just couldnt do, but if he saw the wizard, hed fix things up for him.
So happily, the little green frog hippity-hopped along his merry way. Feeling quite pleased with herself, the witch once more took to the skies, and once again, she heard some crying, but this time of a thunderous sort. So down to the ground she flew only to discover a pink elephant.
The witch asked him why he was crying. Sniff. None of the other elephants will let me join in all their elephant games. Boo hoo.
Now if you have ever seen an elephant cry, you know it to be a pathetic looking sight, but a PINK elephant crying is just downright heart-breaking, and that is just how the witch felt. So once again, she waved her magic wand, and *POOF*, the elephant was all grey.
All happy now, the elephant was checking himself all over when he noticed that his penis was still pink. He asked an embarrassed witch about this, and she told him that there were some things that she just couldnt do, but if saw the wizard, he would fix things up for him.
At this point, the elephant just started wailing. I dont know where the wizard is, he sobbed.
Oh thats easy. Just follow the yellow pricked toad, said the good witch.
Rudins Law: In a crisis that forces a choice to be made among alternative courses of action, people tend to choose the worst possible course.
Q: How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: It all depends on the size of the grant.
a blonde was riding in her car 1 day 2 go 2 disneyland….
she saw a sign that said disney land..left…
so she went back home….
Whats the difference between a White Fable and a Black Fable?
The White Fable begins Once upon a time…
and the Black Fable begins Man, youre never gonna belive dis shit…
If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
Joke found on http://www.randomjoke.com
A Bible study group was discussing the unforeseen possibility of their sudden death. The leader of the discussion said, We will all die some day, and none of us really know when, but if we did we would all do a better job of preparing ourselves for that inevitable event.Everybody shook their heads in agreement with this comment. Then the leader said to the group, What would you do if you knew you only had 4 weeks of life remaining before your death, and then the Great Judgment Day?A gentleman said, I would go out into my community and minister the Gospel to those that have not yet accepted the Lord into their lives.Very good! ,said the group leader, and all the group members agreed, that would be a very good thing to do.One lady spoke up and said enthusiastically, I would dedicate all of my remaining time to serving God, my family, my church, and my fellow man with a greater conviction.Thats wonderful! the group leader commented, and all the group members agreed, that would be a very good thing to do.But one gentleman in the back finally spoke up loudly and said, I would go to my mother-in-laws house for the 4 weeks.Everyone was puzzled by this answer, and the group leader ask, Why you mother-in-laws home?Then the gentleman smiled sarcastically and said, Because, that would be the longest 4 weeks of my life!
REDMOND, Washington–January 4, 1995–In response to customer
inquiries, Microsoft today clarified the naming policy for Bob(tm),
its new software product designed for computer beginners. Contrary
to rumors, Microsoft will not demand that all persons formerly named
Bob immediately select new first names.
I dont know where these rumors come from, commented Steve
Balmer, Microsoft Executive Vice President for Worldwide Sales and
Support. Its ridiculous to think Microsoft would force people
outside the computer industry to change their names. We wont, and
our licensing policies for people within the industry will be so
reasonable that the Justice Department could never question them.
Balmer said employees of other computer companies will be given the
opportunity to select new names, and will also be offered a
licensing option allowing them to continue using their former names
at very low cost.
The new licensing program, called Microsoft TrueName(tm), offers
persons who want to continue being known by the name Bob the option
of doing so, with the payment of a small monthly licensing fee and
upon signing a release form promising never to use OpenDoc. As an
added bonus, Bob name licensees will also be authorized to display
the Windows 95 logo on their bodies.
Persons choosing not to license the Bob name will be given a 60-day
grace period during which they can select another related name.
Were being very lenient in our enforcement of the Bob trademark,
said Bill Newkom, Microsofts Senior Vice President of Law and
Corporate Affairs. People are still free to call themselves
Robert, Robby, or even Rob. Bobby however is derivative of
Microsofts trademark and obviously cant be allowed.
Microsoft also announced today that Bob(tm) Harbold, its Executive
Vice President and Chief Operating Officer, has become the first
Microsoft TrueName licensee and will have the Windows 95 logo
tattooed to his forehead.