Old and New Jokes

Blonde Judy, the editor of a trivia publication, was having trouble with her computer.


She called John, the computer guy, over to her desk.


John clicked a couple buttons and solved the problem.


As he was walking away, Judy called after him, So, what was wrong?


He replied, It was an ID ten T error.


A puzzled expression ran riot over Judys face. An ID ten T error? Whats that … in case I need to fix it again??


He gave her a grin… 😉 … Havent you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?


No, replied Judy.


Write it down, he said, and I think youll figure it out.


This is what she wrote……..

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V

I D 1 0 T

How can you tell a blond has been working at a computer?

10. The Rosstafarians

9. United Were Nuts

8. The Dork-O-Crats

7. Wacky Ass Billionaires

6.The You Might Be A Redneck If You Join This Party Party

5.The Adorable Miniature Candidate And His Friends

4. Yankee Doodle Psychos

3. El Party De Nutjobs

2. Shorty And The Blowfish

1. The Hair Club For Geeks

La novicia encargada de las compras se iba persignando por toda la calle, cuando se topa con el cura:

¡Hija mía! ¿Por qué vas persignándote?

Es para que no se me olvide lo que me encargó la madre superiora.

¿Y qué fue lo que te encargó?

Una cabeza de ajo, dos litros de leche y un estropajo.

A scientist was successful in cloning himself, and was asked to speak at a national convention of cloning scientists. The meeting room was located on the 45th floor of a New York skyscraper.

My fellow scientists, he began. But before he could utter another word, the clone jumped up and shouted, hes a *&^^%*@)&!.

Apologizing for the interruption, the scientist began again, My fellow scientists,. Again the clone sprang to his feet and yelled, this dumb *%@(&+*! couldnt produce a copy on a Xerox. Hes a fraudulent *$3%$#*#+=!.

Incensed, the scientist rushed to the clone, grabbed him, and threw him out of the window.

The crowd gasped and security rushed into the room. A short while later New Yorks finest arrived and the events that had transpired were explained to them. The police chief said to the scientist, We are going to have to arrest you.

The scientist replied, For what? You cant arrest me for killing a clone!. The attending scientists nodded in agreement.

Well! retorted the police chief.

He thought for a moment and ordered the scientist held for…

Making an obscene clone fall…

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day.

In English, he said, a double negative forms a positive. In some languages though, such a Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, he pointed out, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.

A voice from the back of the room piped up, Yeah. Right.

Thanx to W. F. Norman.

The whisky story

An.
Old Smugglertold
Sir Williamthat he saw
Paul Jonestake
Lord Galvertsdaughter
Queen Annsout riding on his
White Horsedown to
Royal Castlenear
House of Lordsand for a
Silver Dollarhe laid her on the
Green Garpetwith her
Bottom Upand tickled her
Old Drumwith
Three Feathersand took out his
Johnny Walkerwhich was hard as a
Canadian Cluband put it in her
Red Hackleand gave her a shot of
Cream of Kentuckywhich started
Wilkin´s Family.

Knock Knock
Whos there?
Heifer!
Heifer who?
Heifer cow is better than none!

CHEMISTRY RHYMES
Old Man Stokes
Old man Stokes was a gentleman fine
Who lived beside the Raleigh line;
Old anti-Stokes, his existance denied,
Lived never-the-less on the other side.

Juan Pérez, mi programador asistente, siempre puede ser encontrado

trabajando duro en su cubículo. Juan labora sin descanso, sin andar

gastando el tiempo hablando con sus colegas. Juan nunca

lo piensa dos veces para ayudar a sus compañeros, y siempre

termina sus tareas a tiempo. Frecuentemente, Juan toma extremas

medidas para completar su trabajo, a veces saltándose las

pausas en el trabajo. Juan es un individuo que no tiene nada de

vanidad a pesar de sus altos logros y profundos

conocimientos en su campo. Creo firmemente que Juan puede ser

clasificado como de gran calibre, del tipo que no puede ser

expulsado. Por todo ello, recomiendo que Juan sea

promovido a un puesto ejecutivo, y para tal efecto un ascenso será

ejecutado tan pronto como sea posible.

Atentamente

El Líder de Proyecto

SIGUE LEYENDO…

Poco tiempo después, el departamento de Recursos Humanos recibió el siguiento memo del Líder de Proyecto:

Lo siento, pero ese idiota estaba leyendo sobre mis hombros cuando escribí el reporte que le mandé hoy por la mañana. Por favor lea sólo las líneas nones para conocer mi verdadera opinión.

Atentamente,

El Líder de Proyecto.