Q: How many Australians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two–one to say Shell be right mate and one to fetch the beers.
12
Jun
12
Jun
Se encontraba un viejito agonizando en su cama, cuando de pronto el miembro se le endurece y comienza a gritar:
¡VIEEEEJAAAA, VIEEEJAAAA!
Y la esposa viejita comienza a subir por las escaleras para llegar donde esta su esposo, pero como era tan anciana se demoró bastante y cuando llegó al cuarto, el viejito la regañó, le dijo que eso casi nunca sucedÃa y cuando llegaba a pasar ella no llegaba, que a la proxima llegara más pronto.
Pasaron dos dÃas y el viejito, que estaba cada vez más enfermo, comenzó a gritar:
¡VIEEEJAAAA, VIEEEJAAAAA
Sale corriendo la viejita y en el camino se quita la falda, por las escaleras la blusa y calzones, abre esa puerta y se lanza sobre el viejito, y este le dice:
¡Ayyyy vieja, yo muriendome y usted pensando en cochinadas!
12
Jun
Washington DC – An Indiana woman has won agreement from the US Tax Court that her breasts are business assets and can be depreciated for tax purposes.
Cynthia S. Hess, known as Chesty Love in her professional life as an exotic dancer, claimed a $2,088 deduction in 1988 for depreciation on the surgical implants that enlarged her bust size to a 56FF.
The IRS turned down the deduction, citing a long list of court decisions holding that expenditures to enhance a taxpayers health or appearance – while useful for business – are so inherently personal that they cant be deducted as a business expense.
But Hess found an ally in Special Trail Judge Joan Seitz Pate, who ruled that the implants increased Hess income and that the the breasts are so large and cumbersome – they weigh about 10 pounds each – that she couldnt derive personal benefit from them.
From the Daily Collegian
12
Jun
Q: What is the difference between a puppy and Al Gore?
A: After five weeks, a puppy opens the eyes and stops whining.
11
Jun
Yo mama so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!
11
Jun
A JAMAICAN WALKS INTO THE DOCTORS WITH A PARROT ON HIS HEAD,THE DOCTOR SAYS CAN I HELP YOU AND THE PARROT SAYS CAN YOU GET THIS BLACKHEAD OFF MY FOOT.
11
Jun
9. If you cannot remember when you last washed your car.
11
Jun
11
Jun
Satan comes down to visit a famous, utterly ruthless Hollywood producer.
Satan says, Look, I have a business proposition for you. I can get you
any deal you want, with anybody in the business, on any terms you like.
The producers eyes light up. Hmm. . . and what do you want from me?
Satan smiles. Your immortal soul.
The producer sits back and ponders, stroking his goatee. I dont get it.
Wheres the catch?
11
Jun
Q: Why did the blonde fail her drivers liscence?
A: She wasnt used to the front seat!