An elderly gentleman went to the local drug store and asked the pharmacist for Viagra.
The pharmacist said, Thats no problem. How many do you want?
The man answered, Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces.
The pharmacist said That wont do you any good.
The elderly gentleman said Thats all right. I dont need them for sex anymore, as Im over 80 years old.
I just want it to stick out far enough so I dont pee on my shoes.
If you cannot convince them, confuse them. – Harry S. Truman
Yo mammas so stupid, she put a quarter in a parking meter and said Hey, wheres my gumball?
Youve brought religion into my life; until I met you I didnt believe in hell.
What would a monsters psychiatrist be called?
Shrinkenstein…
Un médico cubano presume:
La medicina en mi paÃs está tan avanzada, que podemos tomar el riñón de un hombre; trasplantárselo a otro y tener a éste buscando trabajo en seis semanas.
Un médico italiano asegura:
Eso no es nada, nosotros podemos tomar el pulmón de una persona y transplantarlo en otro, y lo tenemos buscando trabajo en cuatro semanas.
Un médico brasileño se jacta:
En mi paÃs, la medicina está tan avanzada, que podemos tomar la mitad del corazón de una persona y transplantar esa parte a otra, y los tenemos a ambos buscando trabajo en dos semanas.
El médico argentino, para no ser aventajado, asegura:
Ustedes están muy atrás comparados con la Argentina: nosotros tomamos a un hombre sin cerebro; lo pusimos en la Presidencia y en menos de lo que se pela un huevo, la mitad del paÃs está buscando trabajo.
A single man in his 40s often has a problem finding women at his level of maturity. Thats why he dates someone half his age.
While defending a man in D.C. Superior Court accused of beating his girlfriends 12-year-old daughter, a Washington attorney announced after three days that he was withdrawing from the case.
He explained that he had expected the trial to proceed in a more timely manner and had purchased nonrefundable airline tickets for a vacation.
Its manifestly necessary in my view that you continue the defense of your client, the judge told the attorney. When this plea failed, the judge threatened to hold him in custody to assure his presence in the courtroom.
The attorney warned that such a move would only harm his client. I mean, Ill just be extremely hostile to the defendant. Im just going to be totally hostile, totally hostile, he told the judge, who was forced to declare a mistrial.