Yo mama so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!
11
Jun
11
Jun
A JAMAICAN WALKS INTO THE DOCTORS WITH A PARROT ON HIS HEAD,THE DOCTOR SAYS CAN I HELP YOU AND THE PARROT SAYS CAN YOU GET THIS BLACKHEAD OFF MY FOOT.
11
Jun
9. If you cannot remember when you last washed your car.
11
Jun
11
Jun
Satan comes down to visit a famous, utterly ruthless Hollywood producer.
Satan says, Look, I have a business proposition for you. I can get you
any deal you want, with anybody in the business, on any terms you like.
The producers eyes light up. Hmm. . . and what do you want from me?
Satan smiles. Your immortal soul.
The producer sits back and ponders, stroking his goatee. I dont get it.
Wheres the catch?
11
Jun
Q: Why did the blonde fail her drivers liscence?
A: She wasnt used to the front seat!
11
Jun
1. Throughly clean the toilet.
2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids lifted.
3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. You may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape. CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for any purchase they can find.
5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a powerwash and rinse which I have found to be quite effective.
6. Have someone to open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will dry himself.
Sincerely, the Dog
10
Jun
Q: What is the difference between an Uzi and an accordion?
A: The Uzi stops after 20 rounds.
10
Jun
Nothing says loving like marrying your cousin! — Al Bundy
10
Jun
An after the election bonus: Politics gives guys so much power that they tend to behave badly around women. And I hope I never get into that.
–Rhodes Scholar Bill Clinton