Un médico cubano presume:
La medicina en mi paÃs está tan avanzada, que podemos tomar el riñón de un hombre; trasplantárselo a otro y tener a éste buscando trabajo en seis semanas.
Un médico italiano asegura:
Eso no es nada, nosotros podemos tomar el pulmón de una persona y transplantarlo en otro, y lo tenemos buscando trabajo en cuatro semanas.
Un médico brasileño se jacta:
En mi paÃs, la medicina está tan avanzada, que podemos tomar la mitad del corazón de una persona y transplantar esa parte a otra, y los tenemos a ambos buscando trabajo en dos semanas.
El médico argentino, para no ser aventajado, asegura:
Ustedes están muy atrás comparados con la Argentina: nosotros tomamos a un hombre sin cerebro; lo pusimos en la Presidencia y en menos de lo que se pela un huevo, la mitad del paÃs está buscando trabajo.
Posted in Chistes chistosos |
A single man in his 40s often has a problem finding women at his level of maturity. Thats why he dates someone half his age.
Posted in General / Unsorted |
- Your accountants letter of resignation is postmarked Panama…
- You have to hitch hike to the bank to make your car payment…
- You see your stockbroker hitchhiking out of town…
- They pay your wages out of petty cash…
- You make more than you ever made, owe more than you ever owed, and have less than youve ever had…
- Getting there is half the fun and three-fourths of the vacation budget…
- You see the cruise captain running toward the railing wearing a life jacket…
- The simple instructions enclosed arent…
- You take an assertiveness training course and youre afraid to tell your wife…
- You see your wife and your girlfriend having lunch together…
- Your pacemaker has only a thirty day guarantee…
- The candles on your cake set off your smoke alarm…
- The pest exterminator crawls under your house and never comes out…
Posted in General / Unsorted |
While defending a man in D.C. Superior Court accused of beating his girlfriends 12-year-old daughter, a Washington attorney announced after three days that he was withdrawing from the case.
He explained that he had expected the trial to proceed in a more timely manner and had purchased nonrefundable airline tickets for a vacation.
Its manifestly necessary in my view that you continue the defense of your client, the judge told the attorney. When this plea failed, the judge threatened to hold him in custody to assure his presence in the courtroom.
The attorney warned that such a move would only harm his client. I mean, Ill just be extremely hostile to the defendant. Im just going to be totally hostile, totally hostile, he told the judge, who was forced to declare a mistrial.
Posted in General / Unsorted |
You might be a redneck if…
Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
Posted in Redneck |
Knock Knock
Whos there?
Goose!
Goose who!
Goose see a doctor, you dont look well!
Posted in Knock-knock |
A programmer comes to a piano-player to have a look at his new grand piano, walks around, hems and finally, says,
-the keyboard is inconvenient-84keys, half of them functional, all unmarked, though, to press Shift with a foot is a fresh idea.
Posted in General / Unsorted |
A guy was driving his car at the speed of 80 mph when he saw the flashing red and blue lights.
Thinking that the cop might not be able to catch him, he accelerated to 110 mph. He finally came to some sense and pulled over to the side.
The cop stepped out, took his license and examined it without a word. He looked at the driver and said, Ive had a tough shift and this is my last pullover. I dont feel like doing anymore paperwork so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I havent heard before, you can go!
The driver blinked only once while his brain scramble for a reply. Last week my wife ran off with a cop, he said, and I was afraid you were trying to give her back!
Off you go, said the officer.
Posted in General / Unsorted |
In the United States alone, there are over 10,000 cases of battered
women.
And to think… all this time, I have been eating mine plain!
Posted in General / Unsorted |
The eminent acting teacher was telling his students about the worst actress he had ever seen. She couldnt find work until she married a rich producer who included her in all of his shows. One of his plays was the stage adaptation of The Diary of Anne Frank, where her portrayal of Anne was so wretched that when the Gestapo came to take her away, the few people who were left in the audience stood up as one and shouted, Shes in the attic!
Posted in General / Unsorted |