Abuelita, ¿qué es un amante?
De pronto, la viejita deja sus palitos de tejer, suspende el balanceo de su mecedora, abre los ojos como recordando algo y echa a correr escaleras arriba, hacia el viejo almacén de la casa. Una vez allà se precipita corriendo hacia el antiguo ropero de roble, abre la puerta de éste… ¡ Y cae al suelo un esqueleto totalmente calato!
Q: Why did the blonde purchase an AM radio?
A: She didnt want one for nights.
Virginia: Two men in a pickup truck went to a new-home site to steal a
refrigerator. Banging up walls, floors, etc., they snatched a refrigerator
from one of the houses, and loaded it onto the pickup. The truck promptly got
stuck in the mud, so these brain surgeons decided that the refrigerator was
too heavy. Banging up *more* walls, floors, etc., they put the refrigerator
*back* into the house, and returned to the pickup truck, only to realize that
they locked the keys in the truck — so they abandoned it.
Banta singh was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area. The judge asked him if he had anything to say in his defence.
They should not put up such misleading notices, said banta singh. It said,
FINE FOR PARKING HERE.
Nelson Mandela is at home watching the box, when there is a knock at his door. He gets up and answers it, there is a Chinese bloke with clipboard, behind him is a lorry full of exhaust pipes.You sign, you sign yells the Chinese geezer. Nelson looks at the truck and tells the Chinese bloke that he has a got the wrong bloke.
Next day Nelson is watching a porno film when there is a knock on his door. Its the same Chinese bloke and behind him is truck full of brake parts.
You Sign, You Sign screams the Chinese bloke and pushes the clipboard under Nelsons nose.
Look you Twat snarls Nelson Youve got the wrong bloke. I dont want brake parts, youve got the wrong bloke now FUCK OFF.
Next day Nelson is sitting in the chair reading Penthouse, when there is a knock on the door. Its the Chinese bloke again, behind him are two trucks filled with engine parts. The Chinese bloke screams at Nelson You sign, you sign.
Well thats it Nelson loses his wig and picks the Chinese bloke up by his shirt and yells Youve got the wrong bloke, if you disturb me again Ill fucking chin yer. I dont want these car parts. YOUVE GOT THE WRONG BLOKE!!!!.
The Chinese bloke looks at his clipboard and says You not Nissan Maindealer?
A woman goes into a restaurant in a small town out in the South. She orders the chicken and starts to eat. Eating too fast she starts to choke on a chicken bone.
Buford Bucks 2 country boys in the next booth notice she is choking. So they get up and go over to help her. Buford drops his coveralls and bends over and then Buck starts licking his butt.
The choking woman watches these two go at it and is so grossed out she starts spewing up all over the place, dislodging the chicken bone from her throat.
Buford pulls his overalls back up and says to Buck Youre right, that hind-lick manoeuvre works like a charm.
An Asian man walks into the currency exchange in New York with 2000 yen and
walks out with $72. Next week he walks in with 2000 yen, gets $66. He asks
the lady why he gets less money this week than last week.
The lady says Fluctuations.
The Asian man storms out, and just before slamming the door turns around
and says Fluc you clazy Amelicans too!
Look behind you!
Yo mama is so fat, she uses the Empire State building as a dildo.
En cierta ocasión, el Ministro de Fomento del Gªl. Franco se dirigió a los medios de comunicación para informar al paÃs sobre la inaguración de la carretera Madrid-Barcelona.
Durante el acto, un periodista cuestionó:
¡Mentira! Acabo de pasar por esa zona y no hay ninguna construcción.
Circunspecto, el Ministro respondió:
¡Usted lo que tiene que hacer es viajar menos y ver más la televisión!