That little bastard Little Johnny was passing his parents bedroom in the middle of the night in search of a glass of water. Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he peeks in and catches his parents in the act.
Before his Dad can even react, little Johnny exclaims, Oh boy! Horsey ride. Daddy can I ride on your back?
Daddy, relieved that Johnny was not asking more uncomfortable questions and seeing the opportunity not to break his stride, agrees.
Johnny hops on and daddy starts going to town. Pretty soon his mummy starts moaning and gasping and Johnny cries out, Hang on tight, Daddy. This is the part where me and the milkman usually get bucked off!
Posted in Little Johnny/Jane |
You might be a redneck if your ma has ever run out of the bathroom and said Yall come look at this fore I flush it.
Posted in Redneck |
Q:Whats the difference between a golf ball and a G-Spot?
A:A bloke will spend 20 minutes looking for a golf ball!!
Posted in Golf |
Thou shalt not commit adultery…..unless in the mood.
Posted in One Liners |
A recent poll found that 50% of all lawyers graduated in
the bottom half of their class.
Posted in One Liners |
Whats the difference between a womens track team and a tribe of pigmees?
The pigmees are a bunch of cunning runts.
Posted in General / Unsorted |
After a laborious two-week criminal trial in a very high profile bank robbery case, the jury finally ended its 14 hours of deliberations and entered the courtroom to deliver its verdict to the judge. The judge turns to the jury foreman and asks,
Has the jury reached a verdict in this case?
Yes we have, your honor, the foreman responded.
Would you please pass it to me,
The judge declared, as he motioned for the bailiff to retrieve the verdict slip from the foreman and deliver it to him.
After the judge reads the verdict himself, he delivers the verdict slip back to his bailiff to be returned to the foreman and instructs the foreman, Please read your verdict to the court.
We find the defendant NOT GUILTY of all four counts of bank robbery, stated the foreman.
The family and friends of the defendant jump for joy at the sound of the not guilty verdict and hug each other as they shout expressions of divine gratitude. The defendants attorney turns to his client and asks,
So, what do you think about that?
The defendant looks around the courtroom slowly with a bewildered look on his face and then turns to his defense attorney and says,
Im real confused here. Does this mean that I have to give all the money back?
Posted in General / Unsorted |
Sucede que un marcianito va con su papá viajando por el espacio. Se van acercando a la Tierra y el extraterrestre le dice asustado a su papá:
Papá, papá, ¿qué es eso?
Ah, hijito, eso es un satélite.
¿Y de dónde es?
De Rusia, hijito.
¿Y cómo sabes eso?
Porque dice URSS.
¡Oh!
Pasa un rato, y de nuevo el alienÃgena:
Papá, papá, ¿qué es eso?
Ese es otro satélite, hijito.
¿Y de dónde es?
De Estados Unidos, hijito.
¿Y cómo sabes?
Porque dice USA.
¡Oh!
Y más tarde de nuevo:
¡Papá, papá mira otro satélite!
SÃ, efectivamente es otro satélite.
¿Y de dónde es éste?
De México, hijito.
¿Y cómo sabes?
Pues porque dice: Puto el que lo lea.
Posted in Chistes chistosos |
How many lawyers does it take to shingle a roof?
3 1/2 if you slice em right.
Posted in Lawyer |
My client(sponsor/customer) doesnt know what he wants.
Posted in Business |