Knock Knock
Whos there?
Grant!
Grant who!
Grant you a wish, what is it!
24
Apr
24
Apr
Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer?
A: The joystick is wet.
24
Apr
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said Dont you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?
I said I didnt know there were any witnesses!
Now Ill have to kill you too.
24
Apr
Un mecánico le prestó a un colega suyo un taladro y, como éste llevaba algún tiempo sin que se lo devolviese, decidió llamarlo por teléfono para recordárselo.
Cuando aquel le contestó le dijo: OÃme bien, Roberto. ¿Cómo estás?
Bien, Romualdo. Gracias. ¿Dime qué deseas?
Pues hombre, que te estoy llamando por el taladro.
No jodás, pero se te oye muy clarito, sin ruidos ni interferencias.
24
Apr
Un ambicioso entrenador de un equipo femenil de atletismo decidió darles grandes dosis de hormonas a las chicas para mejorar su rendimiento. Por supuesto, el equipo empezó a mejorar sus resultados. Pronto ganaron las competencias locales, después las estatales y finalmente vencieron fácilmente en la competencia nacional.
Después de la competencia, Penélope, una de las chicas más veloces del equipo, se acercó al entrenador y le confió:
Oiga, entrenador, tengo un problema. Me ha estado saliendo pelo en el pecho…
¡Qué!, exclamó el entrenador, muy alarmado. ¿Qué tan abajo te llega?
Y ella le responde:
Hasta los huevos. Ésa es la otra cosa de que querÃa hablarle…
24
Apr
Youre so ugly, yo momma had to tie a pork chop around your neck just to get the dog to play with you.
Yo mommas so fat that the last time that she wore a T-shirt with a X on it a helicopter tried to land on her.
Your dog is so dumb that if you were to cut off his tail and make him walk backwards hed start wagging his head!
24
Apr
Why did the chickhen cross the road?
to get to the other side
Why did David Beckham cross the road?
Because he likes chickhens
24
Apr
Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple?Find HALF a worm in your apple!
24
Apr
Then there is something called the Internet, which is a worldwide hookup of thousands of computer networks. The Internet is already an information superhighway, except that you have to be a full-fledged computer nerd to navigate it. I have been there. Its like driving a car through a blizzard without windshield wipers or lights, and all of the road signs are written upside down and backwards. And if you stop and ask someone for help, they stutter in Albanian.
— Mike Royko (2/16/94)
24
Apr
This fat lady walks into a pet store and she sees a bird that she wants to buy. She goes to the manager and says I want this bird.
The manager says that the bird had a bad owner before he was brought to us. She said that she will treat him well.
The first night with the bird she is feeding him and she accedentily lifts up his left leg and screams HALLELUAH! The next night she is feeding the bird she accedentily lifts up his right leg and the bird screams PRAISE THE LORD!
The lady found this quite interesting so she invited the priest over for dinner the next night. After a good meal the fat lady walks the priest over to the bird and lifts up his right leg and once again screams HALLELUAH! She lifts up his right leg and it screams PRAISE THE LORD!
The priest found this ver fascinating and said to the lady I wonder what would happen if u lift both legs up?
The bird replies with a simple Ill fall down you dumb shit.