At least we know that ugly people arent two-faced.
If they were, surely theyd use their other face!
31
Dec
31
Dec
A Texas business man, while in Japan for some business meetings and a few rounds of golf, arrived in Tokyo a day earlier than expected. Feeling lonely that evening, he employed the services of a beautiful young Japanese girl to be his companion for the evening. Although the Japanese girl spoke very little English and the businessman spoke no Japanese, their passion roared and in the heat of the moment she began yelling Gama Su!, Gama Su!. Hearing this, the Texan knew he had pleased his female Japanese friend and soon afterwards went to sleep.
The next day while playing golf with his Japanese business colleagues, one of his Japanese partners holed his shot from 170 yards away! Everyone went crazy and began yelling excitedly in Japanese. Wanting to impress his friends, the Texan joined in and began yelling, Gama Su! Gama Su!
Suddenly everyone became quiet. After a moment of silence, one of the Japanese turned to him and asked Wrong hole? What do you mean wrong hole?
31
Dec
The following are letters from children to GOD.
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Dear GOD, In school they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation?
-Jane
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Dear GOD, I read the Bible. What does begat mean? Nobody will tell me.
Love, Alison
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Dear GOD, Are you really invisible or is that just a trick?
-Lucy
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Dear GOD, Is it true my father wont get in Heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house?
-Anita
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Dear GOD, Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident?
-Norma
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Dear GOD, Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why dont You just keep the ones You have now?
-Jane
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Dear GOD, Who draws the lines around the countries?
-Nan
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Dear GOD, I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay?
-Neil
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Dear GOD, What does it mean You are a Jealous God? I thought You had everything.
-Jane
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Dear GOD, Did you really mean do unto others as they do unto you? Because if you did, then Im going to fix my brother.
-Darla
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Dear GOD, Thank you for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy.
-Joyce
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Dear GOD, It rained for our whole vacation and is my father mad! He said some things about You that people are not supposed to say, but I hope You will not hurt him anyway. Your friend (But I am not going to tell you who I am)
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Dear GOD, Why is Sunday school on Sunday? I thought it was supposed to be our day of rest.
-Tom L.
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Dear GOD, Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before, You can look it up.
-Bruce
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Dear GOD, If we come back as something – please dont let me be Jennifer Horton because I hate her.
-Denise
31
Dec
Q: What kind of lettuce was served on the Titanic?
A: Iceberg.
31
Dec
Q: What is the ultimate rejection ?
A: Your hand falls asleep while masterbating.
31
Dec
Q: Why did they kick raggedy ann out of the toy box?
A: Because she was always sitting on pinnochios face saying lie to me, lie to me.
31
Dec
Q: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A: A nervous wreck.
31
Dec
Q: What do the gynecologist and the Pizza delivery man have in common?
A: They both get to smell the goods but neither one of them can eat it.
31
Dec
Q: How is pubic hair like parsley?
A: You push it to the side before you start eating.
31
Dec
Q: Why did Frosty the snow man pull down his pants?
A: He saw the snow blower coming!