A blonde went to the emergency room with the tip of her left index finger blown off.
How did this happen? the doctor asked.
Well I was trying to commit suicide, the blonde replied.
Trying to commit suicide by shooting your finger?
No silly! First I put the gun to my chest and I thought, I just paid $6,000 for these, then I put it in my mouth and I thought, I just paid $4,000 to get my teeth straightened.
So then I put the gun in my ear and I thought, this is going to make a loud noise, so I put my finger in my ear before I pulled the trigger?
Posted in Blonde |
Bragging about old times
Two men were boasting to each other about their old army days.
Why, my outfit was so well drilled, declared one, that when they presented arms all you could hear was slap, slap, click.
Very good, conceded the other, but when my company presented arms youd just hear slap, slap, jingle.
What was the jingle? asked the first. Oh, replied the other offhand, just our medals.
Posted in Military |
Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because it felt pretty crummy!
Posted in Food |
your mom is so old whan you tried to suck her titie powder came out
Posted in Old Age |
Yo mama is so poor I saw her kicking a can and asked her what she was doing? And she said Ime moving.
Posted in Yo Mama |
Well, the trials over, and Michael got off… Whats ironic is that getting off is what got him in trouble in the first place.
Posted in Celebrity |
why did the chicken cross go by the underpass?
Posted in Animal |
yo mama so stupid tried to enter a stupid contest and they siad no perfessionals can play
Posted in Stupid |
yo mama sooo fat she fell in love and broke it
Posted in Yo Mama |
why did Micheal Jackson call boys 2 men?
because he thought it was a delivery service
Posted in Celebrity |