How do you make Polish sausage?
Use retarded pigs
11
Jul
11
Jul
One day a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead went on a camping trip. The first night out, the redhead went hunting, and came back in the morning with a huge deer. The blonde asked, How did you kill that deer?
The redhead said, Well, I followed the tracks of the deer and shot it.
The second night, the brunnete went hunting and came back in the morning with a big deer. The blonde once again asked, How did you kill that deer?
The brunnette said, I just followed the tracks and shot it.
The third night, the blonde went out hunting, and came back in the morning with a ripped shirt, bloody nose, and her hair all messed up. The redhead and the brunnette asked her what happened, and the blonde said, I followed the tracks but then the train hit me.
11
Jul
One sunny afternoon, three men go for a ride on a hot air balloon over the Sahara desert. An hour into the trip, the balloon begins to lose altitude. A month later, someone finds one of the ballooners laying on the desert sand dead, naked, and holding half a toothpick. What happened to him?
Answer: As the balloon lost altitude, the men took of their clothes and threw them overboard to decrease the weight of the balloon. The balloon continued to drop so the men drew straws to see who would be forced to jump. The dead man in the desert drew the shortest one (the half toothpick).
11
Jul
Newsflash X/X 1992 Newsflash
St. Louis, MO (UPI)–Vice President Dan Quayle today visited
St. Louis, MO, which bears a heavy population descended from German
immigrants. In order to show support for the newly-unified country
of Germany, fatherland of many in the audience, he repeated John F.
Kennedys words of support 30 years earlier, but this time in English,
I am a Jelly Doughnut!
Political commentators agreed that something
was lost in the translation. Dan Quayle explained his remark by saying
that he had been told those who lived in central America enjoyed jelly
doughnuts.
11
Jul
Buy a Ford, Buy the Best, Drive a mile, walk the rest.
11
Jul
Cash, check or charge? the cashier asked after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As the woman fumbled for her wallet, the cashier noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.Do you always carry your TV remote? the cashier asked.No, she replied. But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the worst thing I could do to him.
11
Jul
A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman.
They exchange hellos and he notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her about it and she replies, This is a very interesting book about sexual statistics. It identifies that American Indians have the longest average penis and Polish men have the biggest diameter.
By the way my name is Jill. Whats yours?
He coolly replies, Tonto Kawalski, nice to meet you.
11
Jul
F@# me if Im wrong, but is your name Helga Titsbottom?
10
Jul
Clinton is not a tax and spend Democrat, he is a contribute and invest democrat.
10
Jul
Q: How many sci.math readers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Pi. Two hold the ladder, one the bulb, but something irrational remains about it.