Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been in your refrigerator?

A: By the lipstick on your cucumbers.

why do all black people have nightmares…..

Did you hear the one about the assimilated Jewish man who didnt know the difference between challah & chuppah?

He had a crummy wedding!

The mathematician only needs paper, pencil, and a trash bin for his work – the philosopher can do without the trash bin.

Why did the baseball coach throw Cinderella off the team?

Because she ran away from the ball.

Q: Did you see the polish submarine with a screen door?

A: Dont laugh, it keeps the fish out.

A girl came skipping home from school one day.

Mommy, Mommy, she yelled, we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!

Very good, said her mother.

Is it because Im blonde, Mommy?

Yes, its because youre blonde.

The next day the girl came skipping home from school.

Mommy, Mommy, She yelled, we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G.

See? a, b, c, d, e, f, g!

Very good, said her mother.

Is it because Im blonde, Mommy?

Yes, its because youre blonde.

The next day the girl came skipping home from school.

Mommy, Mommy, she yelled, we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these! And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.

Very good, said her embarrassed mother.

Is it because Im blonde, mommy?

No, its because youre 25.

Un hombre estaba cortando el cesped en el jardín frente a su casa cuando Manolo, su vecino, salió de su casa y se dirigió al buzón de correos.

Lo abrió, lo volvió a cerrar y regresó a su casa. Un poco después, Manolo volvió a salir de la casa, se dirigió otra vez al buzón, lo abrió y lo cerró con un golpe. Hecho una furia, regresó a la casa.

El hombre estaba terminando de cortar el cesped cuando vio que Manolo salía de nuevo, iba al buzón, lo abría y lo cerraba con todas sus fuerzas. Intrigado por sus acciones, el hombre le preguntó, ¿Oye, Manolo, te pasa algo?

A lo que él respondió, ¡Claro que me pasa algo! Mi estúpida computadora me sigue dando un mensaje que dice, TIENES CORREO.

Había una vez un par de gamines dicutiendo por quien de los dos tenía el papá más alto; entonces dice uno de los gamines:

¡Mi papá con solo levantar la mano alcanza a coger las nubes!

y dice el otro gamín:

¿Y son como blanditas?

Sí

!Ahh, esas son las guevas de mi papá!

A groom passes down the aisle of the church to take his place by the altar and the best man notices that the groom has the biggest, brightest smile on his face.
The best man says, Hey man, I know you are happy to be getting married, but whats up – you look so excited.

The groom replies, I just had the best blow job I have ever had in my entire life and I am marrying the wonderful woman who gave it to me.

The bride comes walking down the aisle and she, too, has the biggest, brightest smile on her face.

The maid of honor notices this and says, Hey, girlfriend, I know you are happy to be getting married, but whats up, you look so excited.

The bride replies I have just given the last blow job of my entire life.