01
May

Nios, hicieron la tarea sobre

Niños, ¿hicieron la tarea sobre las posibles causas de divorcio, pregunta la maestra en clase.

Sí maestra, responden los niños.

Pedrito, dime un motivo de divorcio.

La incompatibilidad de caracteres, profesora.

Muy bien Pedrito. Susanita, otra razón.

La infidelidad.

Bien Susanita.

Le toca el turno a Pepito y éste responde:

La diarrea.

¡¿Qué?! ¡Qué tonterías dices! ¿De dónde sacas eso, eh?

Es que ayer en la noche escuché que mi mamá le decía a mi papá: ¡Oye, o se te para esa mierda o nos divorciamos!

01
May

Bumper Sticker #119

Horn broken, watch for finger.

01
May

What is the most damaging food?

A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all of us eat it. Can anyone here tell me what lethal product Im referring to? You, sir, in the first row, please give us your idea.

The man lowered his head and said, Wedding cake.

01
May

Steering Wheel

A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says to the man, Hey guy, youve got a steering wheel down your pants.

The guy replies Yeah I know. Its driving me nuts!

01
May

Hillary Clinton meets Bob Dole

By accident Hillary Clinton and Bob Dole met.

If I were your wive, Hilary said, Id put poison in your coffee.

And if I were your husband, replied Bob, Id gladly drink it.

01
May

Super-Duper One-Liners!

Heres a little bit-a-dis and a little bit-a-dat:

How can you tell the Irish guy in the hospital? Hes the one blowing the foam off of his bedpan. ===========================

Why dont Italians have acne? It slides off. ==========================

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a black baby? They named him Sum Ting Wong! ==========================

What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horses behind? A Mechanic. =========================

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A Speech Impediment! =========================

What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half mast? Theyre hiring. =========================

Why arent there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek? Because theyre not going to work in the future either. =========================

Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi? He walks around saying Yo! ========================

Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A different bar. ========================

How many cops does it take to push a black man down the stairs? NONE- He fell. ========================

Q. How do you make a cat drink? A. Put it in a blender, and strain off the fur. ========================

Q. Why do Jewish men like to watch porno movies backward? A. They like the part where the hooker gives the money back. ========================

Q. What is the first thing a blonde hears in the morning? A. See ya. ========================

Q. Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? A. The survivors were marooned. ========================

Q: What do Jimmy Hoffa and Linda Tripp have in common?

A: Nothing… yet. ========================

01
May

Q: Whats the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?

A You know they are out there but people have reported sighting UFOs

01
May

Never judge a book by its author

Is O. J. Guilty?Howard I. Know
Animal Illnesses Ann Thrax
French OverpopulationFrancis Crowded
Fallen UnderwearLucy Lastic
Downpour!Wayne Dwops
CloningIma Dubble
Irish FlooringLynn OLeum
I Lived in DetroitHelen Earth
Inflammation, PleaseArthur Itis
Handels MessiahOllie Luyah
House ConstructionBill Jerome Home
UnemployedAnita Job
Off to MarketTobias A. Pigg
Holmes Does it AgainScott Linyard
Home Alone IVEddie Buddyhome
Lewis CarrollAlison Wonderland
Leo TolstoyWarren Peace
The L. A. Lakers BreakfastKareem O Wheat
Neither a BorrowerNora Lender Bee
The French ChefSue Flay
Tight SituationLeah Tard
The Scent of a ManJim Nasium
Why Cars StopM. T. Tank
Wind in the WillowsRussell Ingleaves
Look YoungerFay Slift
Mountain ClimbingAndover Hand
Its Springtime!Theresa Green
No!Kurt Reply
And Shut Up!Sid Downe

01
May

What do you have if

What do you have if you have ten [Ethnics] up to their necks in cement?

Not enough cement.

30
Apr

Question and answer Clinton joke

Q: Why are they renaming Arkansas Highway 50 the Bill Clinton Highway?
A: The road is crooked, slick, and has a yellow stripe down the middle.