A good days hunting.
09
Apr
09
Apr
Two young men decided to make a bet as to which one of them could make love more times in one night. They agreed that sunrise would be the end of the contest and each went to their respective motel rooms.
The more boastful of the two … went right to it and made love to his date … leaned over and marked a l on the wall … Feeling sprightly, he went again … and once again at the completion of the act … marked another l on the wall – next to the first. Figuring he had the bet in the bag … he decided to relax a bit and in relaxing … fell asleep.
Awakened by the suns rays coming in the window … he quickly grab his lady and did it one more time … and marked another l on the wall … Just at that time … His friend enters … and upon seeing the marks on the wall exclaims:
DAMN – a hundred and eleven … beat me by three …
09
Apr
How do you know a blondes been at your computer? The joysticks wet.
How else do you know a blondes been at your computer? Theres white out on the screen.
How do you know shes been back? Theres writing on the white out.
What do a turtle and a blonde have in common? Once theyre on their backs, theyre fucked!…but at least the turtle tries to get back up!
09
Apr
A man wonders when life truly begins. So he goes to a priest and asks for his opinion on this question.
After consulting the Bible, the priest says, My son, after an exhaustive search, I am positive that life begins upon the union of egg and sperm.
The man thinks: What does a priest know about life? After all, anyone in the Catholic clergy would be saying that due to the shrinking of their flock in the past several decades.
The man decides to ask a Unitarian minister and receives different reply: The beginning of life is not something that can be determined exactly. Even the words beginning and life are too broadly defined to arrive at a meaningful answer. However we will be having a discussion group about this in three weeks if you would like to attend, the minister said.
Not pleased with the reply, and unwilling to wait for three weeks he seeks out the ultimate authority: a man of thousands of years tradition and knowledge. In other words, he goes to a rabbi. The Rabbi briefly ponders the question, then states, My son, its quite simple. Life begins when all the kids leave the nest and the dog dies.
09
Apr
why cant a blond count to 70 becouse 69 is a mouth foll
08
Apr
A blonde and a brunette are running a ranch together in Louisiana. They decide they need a bull to mate with their cows to increase their herd. The brunette takes their life savings of $600 dollars and goes to Texas to buy a bull. She eventually meets with an old cowboy that will sell her a bull.
Its the only one I got for $599, take it or leave it.
She buys the bull and goes to the local telegram office and says, Id like to send a telegram to my friend in Louisiana that says: Have found the stud bull for our ranch, bring the trailer.
The man behind the counter tells her, Telegrams to anywhere in the U.S. are $. 75 per word.
She thinks about it for a moment and decides. Id like to send one word, please.
And what word would that be? inquires the man.
Comfortable, replies the brunette.
The man asks, Im sorry miss, but is your friend gonna understand this telegram?
The brunette replies, My friend is blonde and reads REAL slow, when she gets this, she will see COM-FOR-DA-BULL.
08
Apr
How many Ruwandons does it take to screw in a light-bulb?
None, there is no electricity in Ruwanda
08
Apr
08
Apr
Q: What do you call a blonde golfer with an IQ of 125?
A: A foursome.
Q: What do you call a blonde in a black leather jacket?
A. A rebel without a clue!
Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
A: Last years hide and seek champ.
Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
Q: What do you call a blonde with 90% of her intelligence gone?
A: Divorced.
Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blondes head?
A: A space invader.
Q: What do you call a really smart blonde?
A: A golden retriever.
Q: What does a blonde say during a porno?
A: There I am!!
Q: What does the postcard from a blondes vacation say?
A: Having a wonderful time. Where am I?
Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?
A: Her IQ goes up.
08
Apr
When ladies engage in thrust and counterthrust, verbal that is, the pointed barbs may be more delicate but they are no less deadly.
Most of her adversaries learned that it was dangerous to challenge Dorothy Parker, but there were many foolhearty ones who tried. On one occasion Miss Parker and Clara Booth Luce met in front of a revolving door. The poetic Miss Parker, who was both in a daze and in a hurry, entered first.
After you, my dear, purred Mrs. Luce, age before beauty, you know
Yes, replied Miss Parker, and pearls before swine.