Katzs Law:
Men and women will act rationally towards each other only after all other possibilities have been exhausted.
Churchills Commentary on Man:
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
Sattingers Law:
It works better if you plug it in.
Cahns Axiom (aka Aliens Axiom):
When all else fails, read the instructions.
Beckhaps Law:
Beauty times brains equals a constant.
Coles Axiom:
The sum of the intelligence on the planet is a constant; the population is growing.
Jones Motto:
Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.
The Ultimate Law:
All general statements are false.
Knights Law:
Life is what happens to you when youre making other plans.
Kruegers Observation:
A taxpayer is someone who does not have to take a civil service exam in order to work for the government.
Benchleys Law of Distinction:
There are two kinds of people in the world; those who believe there are two kinds of people and those who dont.
Harvers Law:
A drunken mans words are a sober mans thoughts.
Rule of Accuracy:
When working towards the solution of a problem, it always helps if you know the answer.
Finagles First Law:
If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.
Finagles Third Law:
In any collection of data, the figure most obviously correct, beyond all need of checking, is the mistake.
Rudins Law:
In crises that force people to choose among alternative courses of action, most people will choose the worst one possible.
Ginsbergs Restatement of the Three Laws of Thermodynamics:
You cant win.
You cant break even.
You cant quit.
Quantized Revision of Murphys Law:
Everything goes wrong all at once.
OTooles Commentary:
Murphy was an optimist.
Murphys Constant:
Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.
Firestones Law of Forecasting:
Chicken Little only has to be right once.
Ralphs Observation:
It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize you are in a hurry.
Murphys 3rd Military Law:
Friendly fire aint.
Murphys 4th Military Law:
The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.
Murphys 5th Military Law:
The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already mined it.
Murphys 6th Military Law:
The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.
Murphys 7th Military Law:
The farther you are in advance of your own positions, the more likely your artillery will shoot short.
Murphys 8th Military Law:
Incoming fire has the right of way.
Murphys 9th Military Law:
If your advance is going well, youre walking into an ambush.
Murphys 10th Military Law:
The quartermaster only has two sizes, too large and too small.
Murphys 11th Military Law:
If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.
Murphys 13th Military Law:
The only thing more accurate than incoming fire is incoming friendly fire.
Clarkes Third Law:
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
Weilers Law:
Nothing is impossible for the man who doesnt have to do it himself.
Peters Placebo:
An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance.
Zymurgys Law of Volunteer Labour:
People are always available for work in the past tense.
Grossmans Misquote:
Complex problems have simple, easy-to-understand wrong answers.
Ducharmes Precept:
Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment.
Perkins Postulate:
The bigger they are, the harder they hit.
Conways Law:
In every organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person must be fired.
Stewarts Law of Retroaction:
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
Horngrens Observation (generalized):
The real world is a special case.
Shirleys Law:
Most people deserve each other.
Golds Law:
If the shoe fits, its ugly.
Colsons Law:
When youve got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
Comins Law:
People will accept your idea much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first.
Menckens Metalaw:
For every human problem there is a neat, simple solution; and it is always wrong.
Sevareids Law:
The chief cause of problems is solutions.
Thoreaus Law:
If you see a man approaching you with the obvious intention of doing you good, you should run for your life.
Gerrolds Pronouncement:
The difference between a politician and a snail is that a snail leaves its slime behind.
Hanes Law:
There is no limit to how bad things can get.
Alans Law:
All things being equal, you lose.