It was hell, recalls former child.
Joke found on http://www.randomjoke.com
19
Apr
19
Apr
Id insult you, but youre not bright enough to notice.
19
Apr
1. What does a sorority girl put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
Her ankles.
2. What is the difference between a sorority girl and a bowling ball?
You can only put three fingers in a bowling ball.
You could eat a bowling ball if you had to.
You cant fit a sorority girl inside a bowling ball.
3. How are a sorority girl and a bowling ball alike?
You can pick them up, stick your fingers in them, and throw them in
the gutter and they always come back for more.
4. What is the difference between sorority girls and hookers?
Sorority girls cost less per score.
5. What is the difference between a sorority girl and an elephant?
About 40 lbs.
How do you equalize the two?
Feed the elephant.
6. Whats the first thing a sorority girl does in the morning?
Walks home.
7. Whats the difference between a sorority girl and the Titanic?
Only 1500 went down on the Titanic.
8. How can you tell if a sorority girl has achieved orgasm?
She drops her nail file.
9. Whats a sorority girls favorite wine?
Daaadddy, I want to go to mi-ammmmi.
10. What do you get when you cross a sorority girl with an ape?
Dont know. There is only so much an ape can be forced to do…
11. Why is a sorority girl like a door knob?
Cause everyone gets a turn.
12. How do you get a sorority girl in your bed?
Grease her hips so shell fit through the door and throw a
twinkie on the bed.
13. Did you hear about the new sorority girl doll?
You put a ring on her finger and her hips expand.
14. A sorority girl was hitch-hiking along an empty desert highway. After
five or six cars had passed her without even slowing down, she decided
she really wanted out of there. She decided upon the quickest way to
get someones gang. The gang spotted her, and acted quickly. They
dragged her off into a side canyon and gang-dressed her.
15. Whats the difference between sorority girls and garbage?
Garbage gets taken out once a week.
16. What do you call 100 sorority girls sun-bathing on a beach in Cuba?
Bay of Pigs.
17. What do you call a sorority girl hang-glider festival?
Multiple total eclipses.
18. What is a sorority girls mating call?
Im soooo drunk, Im sooooo drunk!
19. What is the difference between a sorority girl and a toilet?
After you use a toilet it doesnt follow you around for three days.
20. What do you get when cross a lawyer with a sorority girl?
Nothing.
There are some things a sorority girl wont do.
I dont know, but it sure enjoys screwing people.
I dont know, but when it sucks your cock, it doest stop until it
gets blood.
19
Apr
Eleven – One to screw it in, five to say they love the light and five to say the old light was better.
19
Apr
An old farmer decided it was time to get a new rooster for his hens.
The current rooster was still doing an okay job, but he was getting on
in years. And the farmer figured getting a new rooster couldnt hurt
anything. So he bought a young cock from the local rooster emporium,
and turned him loose in the barnyard.
The old rooster saw the young one strutting around and he got a little
worried. So, theyre trying to replace me, thought the old rooster.
Ive got to do something about this.
He walked up to the new bird and said, So youre the new stud in
town? I bet you really think youre hot stuff, dont you? Well, Im
not ready for the chopping block yet. Ill bet Im still the better
bird. And to prove it, I challenge you to a race around that hen house
over there. Well run around it ten times and whoever finishes first
gets to have all the hens for himself.
The young rooster was of a proud sort, and he definitely thought he
was more than a match for the old guy. Youre on, said the young
rooster. And since I know Im so great, Ill even give you a head
start of half a lap. Ill still win easy!
So the two roosters went over to the hen house to start the race with
all the hens gathering around to watch. The race begun and all the
hens started cheering the roosters on.
After the first lap, the old rooster was still maintaining his lead.
After the second lap, the old guys lead had slipped a little but he
was still hanging in there. Unfortunately the old roosters lead
continued to slip each time around, and by the fifth lap he was just
barely in front of the young rooster.
By now the farmer heard all the commotion. He ran into the house, took
his shotgun, and ran out to the barnyard figuring a fox or something
was after his chickens. When he got there, he saw the two roosters
running around the hen house, with the old rooster still slightly in
the lead. He immediately took his shotgun, aimed, fired, and blew the
young rooster away.
As he walked away slowly, he thought to himself, Damn, thats the
third gay rooster Ive bought this month…
19
Apr
There was this mexican who was walking down a beach when he found a bottle that contained a genie.
Well he rubbed the bottle and the genie said, Ill grant you one wish.
So the mexican says – ok, I wanna be white and I wanna be surrounded by a pussy.
The genie grants the mexicans wish…and turned him into a tampon!
18
Apr
Q: Why was Roger Clintons wedding delayed 5 days?
A: The brides father had to wait 5 days to buy the shotgun.
18
Apr
Q: How many VMS heads does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: All of them, and they will all scream at you in unison and tell you that the only lightbulb you can use is a 100-watt soft white but you can use any 100-watt soft white as long as its manufactured by DEC.
18
Apr
A blonde goes into an appliance store looking for a tv. After a few minutes, she picks one out and approaches the salesman.
I want to buy this television, she says. The salesman replies, Sorry, we dont serve blondes here.
She gets mad, leaves and goes home. She dyes her hair brown and returns to the store.
I want to buy this television.
she says to the salesman, getting the same response: Sorry miss, we dont serve blondes here.
She leaves again, frustrated.
She goes home and proceeds to shave her head, eyebrows and all, leaving no visible trace of blonde hair on her head. Upon returning to the store, she once again approaches the salesman.
Sir, I would like to purchase this television, and I dont want any problems.
To which the salesman replies, Sorry Miss, we dont serve blondes.
Fed up with this, she cries, How can you tell that I am blonde? I have dyed my hair and even resorted to shaving my head! To which the salesman replied, Well, Miss, that television you are trying to buy is a microwave!
18
Apr
Knock Knock
Whos there?
Meg!
Meg who?
Meg up your mind!