Pedro llega a casa cansado de un difÃcil dÃa de trabajo y se deja caer como un tronco en la cama.
Está a punto de dormirse cuando su esposa se le acerca y le dice, Qué harÃas si te dijera que tienes a una hermosa, sexy y caliente mujer acostada junto a ti?
Y Pedro contesta: No te preocupes, cariño. Yo te serÃa fiel…
Youre a redneck if…
-You have more fingers than you do teeth
-You cut your grass and find a car
-You consider Dennys a Fancy Resturant
-Your best Suit contains more than 5 colors
-Your age is higher than your I.Q.
-Your favorite pickup line is Does this look infected to you?
-You ask your wife wheather the spot on your neck is a boil or a mole and she replies Its a gummy bear.
-You have a family reunion and everyone in town shows up.
-You say Watch this everytime before you goto the hospital.
-Your wife and ex-wife are sisters.
Its true that all men are born free and equal, but some of them get married!
Cross dressing.
There was this gas station in redneck country trying to increase its sales, so the owner put up a sign saying Free Sex with Fill-up.
Soon a redneck customer pulled in, filled his tank, and then asked for his free sex.
The owner told him to pick a number from (1) to (10), and if he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex.
The buyer then guessed (8) and the proprietor said, No, you were close. The number was (7). Sorry, no free sex this time but maybe next time.
Some time thereafter, the same man, along with his buddy this time, pulled in again for a fill-up, and again he asked for his free sex.
The proprietor again gave him the same story and asked him to guess the correct number. The man guessed (2) this time, and the proprietor said, Sorry, it was (3). You were close but no free sex this time.
As they were driving away, the driver said to his buddy, I think that game is rigged and he doesnt give away free sex.
The buddy replied, No, its not rigged — my wife won twice last week.
A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, Im Mr. Sugarbrowns daughter.
Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, Im Jane Sugarbrown.
The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, Arent you Mr. Sugarbrowns daughter?
She replied, I thought I was, but mother says Im not.
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The number of times youve seen either Elvis or a UFO exceeds your I.Q.
Any of your neighbors has ever spent Halloween night at the bottom of a hole because you moved their outhouse back about four feet.
Youve ever lost a dog to a bush hog.
Se encuentran dos amigos, uno de ellos volvÃa de su luna de miel:
Hola, ¿cómo estás? ¿Qué tal te va en tu vida de casado?
¡Ah… no sabes, mi mujer cocinando es un sol!
¿Cocina tan bien?
No, es un sol, ¡lo quema todo!
A boy was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, If you kiss me, Ill turn into a beautiful princess. He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful Princess, I will stay with you for one week. The boy took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, If you kiss me and turn me back into a Princess, Ill stay with you and do *Anything* you want. Again the boy took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, What is it? Ive told you Im a beautiful Princess, that Ill stay with you for a week and do *Anything* you want. Why wont you kiss me?
The boy said, Look Im a computer programmer. I dont have time for girlfriends, but a talking frog is really cool.