12
Jan

First snow, then silence.This thousand

First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
so beautifully.

With searching comes loss
and the presence of absence:
My Novel not found.

The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao, until
You bring fresh toner.

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

Errors have occurred.
We wont tell you where or why.
Lazy programmers.

Seeing my great fault
Through darkening blue windows
I begin again

The code was willing,
It considered your request,
But the chips were weak.

Printer not ready.
Could be a fatal error.
Have a pen handy?

Servers poor response
Not quick enough for browser.
Timed out, plum blossom.Login incorrect.
Only perfect spellers may
enter this system.

This site has been moved.
Wed tell you where, but then wed
have to delete you.

wind catches lily
scattring petals to the wind:
segmentation fault

ABORTED effort:
Close all that you have.
You ask way too much.

The Web site you seek
cannot be located but
endless others exist

Stay the patient course
Of little worth is your ire
The network is down

A crash reduces
your expensive computer
to a simple stone.

There is a chasm
of carbon and silicon
the software cant bridge

Yesterday it worked
Today it is not working
Windows is like that

To have no errors
Would be life without meaning
No struggle, no joy

You step in the stream,
but the water has moved on.
This page is not here.

No keyboard present
Hit F1 to continue
Zen engineering?

Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.

Having been erased,
The document youre seeking
Must now be retyped,

The ten thousan

12
Jan

Soy Beans

whats the same between a dildo and soy beans?

11
Jan

UNC Chapel Hell

Q: How many UNC-Chapel Hill students does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One – he just holds the bulb and lets the world revolve around him.

10
Jan

Profs marriage woes

That math profs marriage is falling apart!
No wonder! Hes into scientific computing – and shes incalculable!

10
Jan

Love Dress

The mother-in-law stopped unexpectedly by the recently married couple s house. She rang the doorbell and stepped into the house to see her daughter-in-law standing naked by the door. What are you doing? the mother-in-law asked. I am waiting for my husband to come home from work, the daughter-in-law replied. Why are you naked? asked the mother-in-law. This is my love dress, the daughter-in-law replied. LOVE DRESS! You are naked, said the mother-in-law. But my husband loves it when I wear this dress. It makes him happy and he makes me happy, said the daughter-in-law. I would appreciate your leaving now because my husband will be home any minute, the daughter-in-law continued. Soured by all of this romantic stuff, the mother-in-law left. On the way home, she thought about the LOVE DRESS and got an idea. She undressed, showered, applied her best perfume, and waited by the door for her husband to come home. Finally, the pickup truck drove up the drive way, and she took her place by the door. The father-in-law opened the door, and immediately saw his wife naked by the door. What are you doing? he asked. This is my love dress, the mother-in-law replied. Needs ironing, he replied

10
Jan

Tom had this problem of

Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didnt do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed. Tom slept well and in fact beat the alarm in the morning by almost two hours. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work.

Boss, he said, The pill actually worked!

Thats all fine said the boss, But where were you yesterday?

10
Jan

Things are more like today

Things are more like today than they ever were before.

10
Jan

Best ever rum cake

Ingedients

1 teaspoon sugar

2 bottles rum

1 cup dried mixed fruit

2 cups brown sugar

1 teaspoon soda

1 cup butter

2 large eggs

1/2 cup baking powder

1 ounce lemon juice

1/2 pound mixed nuts

Before starting, sample the rum to check quality. It must be just right.

To be sure rum is of proper quality, pour level cup of rum into a glass and drink it as fast as you can. Repeat.

With electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 seaspoon of thugar and beat again.

Meanwhile, make sure rum is still OK all right. Try another cup. Open second bottle, ifffxx necessary.

Sample rum again.

Next, sift 3 cups pepper of salt, really doesnt matter. Sample rum. Sift 1/2 pint lemon juice. Fold in chopped butter and strained nuts. Add a bablespoon of brown thugar, or whatever color you can find. Wix mel.

Greese oven. Turn cake pan to 350 degrees. Pour mess into boven and ake. Check rum and go to bed.

10
Jan

Preparing Chickens

Went to lunch with a friend today to a new chicken place. We asked how they prepare their chickens.

We just tell them theyre going to die.

Joke found on http://www.jokesgalore.com

09
Jan

Question and answer Clinton joke

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get away from Bill Clinton.