Old and New Jokes

Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?

Theres the story about the man that walks into a house of ill
repute in Reno and says, Ill give $20,000 to any woman here wholl
come into the desert with me and do it MY way.

One of the ladies agrees, and off they go driving into the desert.
After about an hour she gets curious, and asks him Just what is
your way?

On credit.

A: She smacks herself in the forehead.

Kowalski worked for the Department of Transportation. One day he woke up ill, with a touch of laryngitis-but-being a dedicated employee he went to work. The boss felt rather sorry for him and didnt want him to do any physical labour-as they were repairing a part of the freeway.

Kowalski he says why dont you go down the road and tell people to slow down going through the construction



Kowalski is glad for the easy day: He stops the first vehicle:



Sir he whispers, his throat feeling worse please slow down, theres a Government crew up ahead



Okay the guy whispers back Ill try not to wake them

Because its no big deal unless youre not
getting any.

Knock Knock
Whos there?
Cugat!
Cugat who?
Cugat to love my jokes!

Im not the kind-of guy who objects to my wife having the last word.

Id just wish to hell shed get to it !

You might be a redneck if…
You had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.

Knock Knock
Whos there?
Dotty!
Dotty who?
Dotty way the cookie crumbles!