A blonde was walking along the beach when she finds an old bottle floating in the water. The blonde goes over and picks it up and notices a cork in the top of the bottle. She pulls out the cork and a genie pops out.
Thankyou for letting me out after 10000 years, stuck in that bottle and to say thankyou I will give you 3 wishes.
The blonde thinks for a little while and finally decides on her first wish.
I would like to be 10% smarter
The genie does her magic and she is turned into a red head.
I dont think I am smart enough yet, I would like to be 100% smarter than what I am
So the Genie does her magic a second time and she turns in to a brunette.
I dont think I am smart enough yet I would like to be 1000% smarter than what I am
So the genie turns her into a man!
There were two blondes driving along, and they passed this paddock. And in the middle of this paddock, there was another blonde rowing a boat.
The blonde that was driving the car then said to her friend Its blondes like that, that give us blondes a bad name. I am this far from swimming out there and slapping her
A blonde is taking a test for a job. The examiner asks some questions for general culture.
Do you know miss which is the boiling temperature of water?
I am not sure
Miss, either you know it or you dont know it
I am not sure
The boiling temperature of water is 100 degrees!
Mmmm. I see. Its the right angle that boils at 90 degrees!
Once there was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They all had to go to
the desert and take one thing.
The brunette took a water bottle, the redhead took an umbrella and the
blonde took a car-door.
They were walking in the desert with their objects and 3 men came up to
them and said to the Brunette, why have you got a water bottle? The
Brunette replied, To drink water!
They asked the redhead,why do you have an umbrella? She said,Because if
it gets hot I can have some shade.
Then they asked the blonde, Why do you have a car-door? She replied, If
it gets hot all I have to do is roll down the window!
There were three Blondes on a tiny Island. They all wanted to get off the Island but none of them knew how. So one day a genie came along and granted each one a wish.
The first one wished to become intelligent enough to get off the Island. So the genie turned her into a redhead and she swam off.
The next one said: Thats cool, I want to get more intelligent than her. The genie turned her into a Brunette and she built a boat and sailed off.
The third Blonde was really impressed and wanted to become even more intelligent. So the genie turned her into a man, who used the bridge.
Q. Why are blonde girls bellybuttons brused?
A. Because blonde guys arent that smart ether
Listening Passively
There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about the
amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet.
After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says, Well, what
about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?
The third fellow says, Ill tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me
on her hands and knees.
The first two guys were amazed. Wow! What happened then? they asked.
The third man took a healthy swallow of his beer, sighed and uttered, She
said, Get out from under the bed and fight like a man.
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Similarities between Nixon and Clinton
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Nixon: Watergate
Clinton: Waterbed
Nixon: His biggest fear – the Cold War
Clinton: His biggest fear – a Cold Sore
Nixon: Worried about carpet bombs
Clinton: Worried about carpet burns
Nixon: His Vice President was a Greek
Clinton: His Vice President is a geek
Nixon: Couldnt stop Kissinger
Clinton: Couldnt stop kissing her
Nixon: Couldnt explain the 18 minute gap in the Watergate tape
Clinton: Couldnt explain the 36-DD bra in his brief case
Nixon: His nickname was Tricky Dick
Clinton: same
Nixon: Ex-President
Clinton: Sex-President
Nixon: Known for campaign slogan Nixons The One
Clinton: Known for women pointing at him saying, Hes the one!
N?xon: Famous for his widows peak
Clinton: Famous for bringing widows to their peak
Nixon: Well acquainted with G. Gordon Liddy
Clinton: Well acquainted with the G Spot
Nixon: Took on Ho Chi Minh
Clinton: Took on Ho
Nixon: Talked about achieving peace with honor
Clinton: Talked about getting a piece while on her
Q: How can you tell if a bank robber is gay?
A: He ties up the safe and blows the guard.
Joke found on http://www.jokedepot.com
Q: What are three words you dread the most while making love?
A: Honey, Im home.