Why did Monica Lewinsky accept an offer to work on the White House staff?
She didnt know what staff they really meant.
31
Dec
31
Dec
Why did Bill Clinton cross the road?
– His dick was stuck in the chicken.
31
Dec
What did the dress prove?
She didnt swallow.
31
Dec
Excerpt from Kenneth Starrs cross examination of President Clinton.
Starr: Now you told us earlier that you spent a lot of money on a face
lift for Ms. Lewinski. Would you like to clarify just how much money you
spent?
Clinton: No, no ,no. What I said was, I blew a wad on her
face.
31
Dec
One day, Bill and Hillary went out to dinner. The waiter asked Hillary
what she wanted. She said, Ill have the steak, well done, potato,
chicken soup… and the waiter asked, and the vegetable?
Hillary said, Oh, hell have the same.
31
Dec
Did you hear the one about the blonde who thought that love handles referred to her ears?
31
Dec
Things came to a head last week and the name Monica Lewinsky is fast
becoming a real mouthful at the White House. The latest news about
President Clinton is definitely hard to swallow and seems certain to
leave a nasty taste in the mouth of the current administration. It
will be some time before all the stains resulting from this issue are
removed from the Oval Office.
Monica Lewinsky has proved to be not as tight lipped as Clinton had
hoped and is expected to spit out the truth to a Grand Jury tomorrow.
She will surely go down in history for her orations concerning the
comings and goings behind the doors of the Oval Office. Monica was
apparently on her knees when she received the recent gagging order
from the White House and now has to decide whether to swallow her pride
and dispose of the evidence, or to succumb to the deep throated
rumblings of the Washington Press Corp. and spill the issue wide open.
Any attempt by Lewinsky to suck up to Clinton can only be construed as
lip service and Clinton would be advised to try and minimize the
impact of this, the latest in a long series of blows he has received
since coming to power. Despite this latest blow, job security for the
President seems to be assured, as he can rely on his proven oral
skills to promote a career in public speaking, being, as he has often
shown, a cunning linguist. (Although Hillary Clinton may disagree with
this, as she claims she is rarely on the end of a tongue lashing from
Bill!)
Miss Lewinsky is from a naval background and her choice of Bill
Clinton as a lover is somewhat surprising, given her preference for
seamen. According to her lawyer, Miss Lewinsky likes to see men in
power and relished the thought of taking a length of time to chew things
over with the President, whenever she could fit him in. And the
President was equally keen to see Miss Lewinsky, always putting on a
spurt when he entered her office.
Miss Leweinsky has apparently been offered a PR job by Listerine, who
described her as spunky enough for any job. Her name has also been
associated with Big Gulp soda advertising and Kleenex.
31
Dec
Whats the new name for the place where Bill Clinton does his business?
The Oral Office.
31
Dec
Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
A: To see what was on the other side.
31
Dec
What do Monica Lewinsky and Bob Dole have in
common?
They were both upset when Bill finished first.