10. Whys Reagan trying to blow out the chandelier?
9. Happy Birthday to…wait stop. Hes wandered off again!
8. …And now president Reagan will use his Playskool phone to call and wish himself a Happy Birthday
7. Mommy make me cake! Cake good
6. More coffee, Quayle!
5. Hey, someone spiked the punch with Grecian Formula
4. Excuse me, Ive got to exercise the old Trickle-Down Theory, if you know what I mean
3. Quick, hide the cake! Rush Limbaughs here!
2. Wow, a Beavis and Butthead T-Shirt!
1. Am I still President?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlights off?

If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?

If a turtle doesnt have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

Yo mama so fat when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.

In a class on abnormal psychology, the instructor was about to introduce the subject of manic depression.

The instructor asked, How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth, screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?

A young man in the rear raised his hand and suggested earnestly, A basketball coach?

Una prostituta va donde el médico porque se sentía muy mal.

Mire, doctor, me duele la cabeza, el pecho, las nalgas, tengo fiebre…

Bueno, bueno respóndame una pregunta: ¿En periodo de regla usted tiene mucha pérdida?

Doctor puede que sea eso, porque la verdad es, que las perdidas son de 200 a 300 dólares.

How do you catch a unique rabbit?

Unique up on it.

How do you catch a tame rabbit?

Tame way.

10. Cats facial expressions.



9. The need for the same style of shoe in different colors.



8. Why bean sprouts arent just weeds.



7. Fat clothes.



6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your last time.



5. The difference between beige, off-white and eggshell.



4. Cutting your bangs to make them grow.



3. Romantic stuff like mushy cards and flowers.



2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.



And the number one thing only women understand:



1. Other women!

There was a man walking on the beach and he found a genie lamp. The genie popped out and tol him he could only have one wish because he had been granting wishes all day and was getting tired. The genie said think real good and hard then let me know. So the man thought for a little while then he said, I wont a bridge from hear to Hawaii so I can just drive there instead of flying. The genie said no way, that would take way to long. The genie said think of another one. So he thought real good and hard and said ok. I want the key to figure out a woman. The genie said, where did you want that bridge to go to.

The hidden flaw never remains hidden.