Knock Knock
Whos there?
Disk!
Disk who?
Disk is recorded message, please leave your message after the beep!
22
Dec
22
Dec
Knock Knock
Whos there?
Pasture!
Pasture who?
Pasture bedtime isnt it!
22
Dec
Chip – What you munch during a football games
22
Dec
Q. How do you catch a unique rabbit?
A. Unique up on it!
Q. How do you catch a tame rabbit?
A. Tame way!
22
Dec
Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea – one called Justin and the other called Christian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that patrolled the area. Finally one day Justin said to Christian, Im bored and frustrated at being a prawn, I wish I was a shark, then I wouldnt have any worries about being eaten…
22
Dec
These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.
113. Fill an empty shaving cream can with whipped cream. Use it to shave, and then spray some into your mouth. Later on, complain that you feel sick. Continue this process for several weeks.
22
Dec
The one labeled IDAHO.
22
Dec
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
Include Your Children when Baking Cookies
Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Stolen Painting Found by Tree
Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years at Checkout Counter
War Dims Hope for Peace
If Strike Isnt Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
22
Dec
An old man was on the beach and walked up to a beautiful girl in a bikini –
I want to feel your breasts he exclaimed.
Get away from me, you crazy old man she replied.
I want to feel your breasts, I will give you twenty dollars, he says.
Twenty dollars, are you nuts!? Get away from me!
I want to feel your breasts, I will give you ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS he stated.
NO! Get away from me!
TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS he offered.
She paused to think about it, but then comes to her senses and said, I said NO!
FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS if you let me feel your breasts, he claimed.
She thought, well he is old, and he seems harmless enough…and $500 IS a lot of money….
Well, OK…but only for a minute.
She loosened her bikini top and while both are standing there on the beach, he slid his hands underneath and began to feel… then he started saying, OH MY GOD…OH MY GOD…OH MY GOD… while he was caressing them.
Out of curiosity, she asked him, Why do you keep saying, Oh my god, oh my god?
While continuing to feel her breasts he answered, OH MY GOD…OH MY GOD…OH MY GOD…
OH MY GOD, where am I ever going to get five hundred dollars?
22
Dec
A man walks into a bar one day and asks, Does anyone here own that rottweiler outside?
Yeah, I do! a biker says, standing up. What about it?
Well, I think my chihuahua just killed him…
What are you talkin about?! the biker says, disbelievingly. How could your little runt kill my rottweiler?
Well, it seems he got stuck in your dogs throat!