Given recent events in Florida, the tourism board in Texas has developed
a new advertising campaign based on the slogan Yall come to Texas,
where we aint shot a tourist in a car since November 1963.
21
May
21
May
Forrest Gump – Life is like a Box of chocolates…
Forrest Dahmer – People are like a box of chocolate, YUM!
Forrest (Homer)Simpson – Mmmmm, chocolate
Forrest the Hun – Chocolate all mine!
Forrest Simmons – Chocolate is bad!, EXERCISE EXERCISE!
Forrest Rivera – People who like Chocolate..Next on Forrest
Forrest Shakespeare – Chocolate, or no chocolate thats the question
Forrest Of Borg – All chocolates must be assimilated
Forrest Presley – Hunk a hunk of milk chocolate
Forrest Zen – I am one with the chocolate
Forrest McClaine – I used to be a box of Chocolates
Forrest Ventura – Chocolates..Alll-Riighty then…
Forrest Lauper – People just wanna have chocolate
Forrest Turner – Whats chocolate gotta do, gotta do with it?
Forrest Bones – D*@!* Jim, Im a Dr., not a box of chocolate
Forrest Spock – Logically speaking, we are all chocolate
Forrest Scotty – The box, shes breaking apart Captn
Forrest Butler – Frankly Scarlett, I dont like chocolate
Forrest OHara – Tomorrow, is another box of chocolates.
Forrest Lee – Fight with your inner chocolate
Forrest Clinton – I didnt inhale the cream centers
Forrest Davidson – I will inhale the cream filled centers
Forrest Doo – Roinks Raggy, Rocolates!
Forrest Marx – Thats the weirdest box of chocolates Ive ever seen.
Forrest Nicholson – You want chocolate, you cant handle chocolate
Forrest Copperfield – Poof, the chocolates are gone!
Forrest Noah – 2 creams, 2 nuts, 2 coconuts, 2 peanut butter
Forrest on phonics – Lief es lyk a boks uv chakolets
Forrest PsychicLine – Yes, I knew you were a chocolate
Forrest Alimony – The Box is mine!
Forrest Andrews – The Hills are alive..like a box of chocolates
Forrest Costello – Whos eating chocolate?
Forrest Abbott – No, who is not eating chocolate
Forrest Vader – Luke, I am your chocolate
Forrest Yoda – There is a dark chocolate, and a light chocolate.
20
May
Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
Toes go in first.
20
May
Concentrada, la esposa se acerca a su marido:
Raúl estaba pensando…
¿Pero para qué, Luisa?, interrumpe el esposo. ¡El médico te dijo que hagas la vida de siempre y que no andes con cosas raras!
20
May
Resulta que habÃa un concurso entre maricas para ver quién de ellos tenÃa el trasero más sensitivo.
Viene el primer concursante, se pone en posición de pollito tomando agua y le meten el mango de un plumero. El marica empieza a decir:
Es un plumero de mango de caoba de 30 cm, las plumas son de ganso de color rosado y algunas de pavo real.
Toda la gente empieza a aplaudir.
Viene el segundo participante, la misma posición. Le meten un lápiz y empieza a describir:
Es un lápiz marca Mongol, HB, color amarillo, le acaban de sacar punta… ¡y tiene hasta borrador!
La gente estalla en aplausos nuevamente.
Viene el tercer competidor, a éste le ponen un embudo, por donde se pueden imaginar, y comienzan a echarle una taza de café recién preparado (con agua recién hervida). El maricón chilla:
¡Ay, ay!
¿Qué pasa? ¿Está muy caliente?, le preguntan.
¡No, estúpido, no le han puesto azúcar y sabe horrible!
20
May
Una vecina le dice a otra:
Carmen, ¿estás enferma? Te lo pregunto porque he visto salir a un médico de tu casa esta mañana.
Mira, vieja chismosa, ayer por la manana yo vi salir a un militar de la tuya y no estamos en guerra, ¿verdad?
20
May
These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.
34. Hide your underwear and socks in your roommates closet. Accuse him/her of stealing it.
20
May
Sean was fishing and it started to rain, so he moved under the bridge
for shelter.
His pal McGinty saw him and called, Sean, me boy, are ye afeared of a
few spots o rain, now?
Sean replied, Im not…the fish come here fer shelter.
20
May
Why did Mickey divorce Minnie?
Because Minnie was fucking goofy.
20
May
A veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor asked her all the usual questions, about symptoms, how long had they been occurring, etc., when she interrupted him:
Hey look, Im a vet – I dont need to ask my patients these kind of questions: I can tell whats wrong just by looking. Why cant you?
The doctor nodded, looked her up and down, wrote out a prescription, and handed it to her and said, There you are. Of course, if *that* doesnt work, well have to have you put down.