Estaban en un coche una vieja, una chica que estaba muy bien, un argentino y un brasileño. El coche entró en un túnel muy obscuro. Se escuchó un beso y en seguida el sonido de una cachetada.
La vieja penso: Qué carácter el de esta chica. Uno de los dos muchachos la besó, y ella le dió una cachetada.
La chica pensó: Uno de los muchachos intentó besarme, acabó besando a la vieja y le dió una cachetada.
El argentino pensó: ¡Qué azar! El brasileño dió un beso a la chica y quien se llevo la
cachetada fui yo.
El brasileño: ¡Cómo soy despierto! ¡Di un beso en la espalda de mi mano y di una cachetada al argentino!
(Zdena)
Posted in Chistes chistosos |
A pair of jumper cables walks into a bar, sits down on the stool and orders a beer. The bartender looks them over for a second and says, Okay, you can stay, but youd better not start anything.
Posted in Bar |
If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
Posted in One Liners |
How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They usually screw in cars.
Posted in Lightbulb |
What is the Cuban national anthem?
Row Your Boat!
Posted in Ethnic |
FULL NAME: what you call your child when youre mad at him.STERILIZE: what you do to your first babys pacifier by boiling it and to your last babys pacifier by blowing on it.TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.WHOOPS: an exclamation that translates roughly into get a sponge.
Posted in General / Unsorted |
The subway car was packed beyond capacity. It was rush hour, and many people were forced to stand. One particularly cramped woman turned to the man behind her and said, Sir, if you dont stop poking me with your thing, Im going to the cops!I dont know what youre talking about miss. Thats just my pay check in my pocket, replied the guy.Oh really! she spat. Then you must really have quite some job, because thats the fifth raise youve had in the last half-hour.
Posted in General / Unsorted |
I may not like Green ham or eggs,
but I sure love your long, thin legs.
Marvin K. Mooney, will you please come now?!?
From far or near or here or there,
havent I seen you before somewhere?
Thats not the only place this Sneetch has a star, Baby.
Sally from Whoville, whats your sign?
Lets blow this joint – your thneed or mine?
Yknow, after he stole it, the Grinch hid Christmas – in my pants.
I love someone who knows what wine goes with red fish or blue fish.
Is that a Cat in your Hat or are you just happy to see me?
I hate this place — the crowds so phony! Say, care to ride me like a pony?
My heart aint the only thing two sizes too large, if you know what I mean.
On a boat, in a car, with your toes all curled – Oh, the places well go when I rock your world!
Howd you like to be in my next book: Great Legs and Ass?
I do not like my wife, you see.
I do not like her, no sirree.
Her looks accuse, her words disparage,
and so we have this open marriage.
Each book makes a million, a zillion, or three. Would you, could you, come home with me?
and the Number 1 Dr. Seuss Pick Up Line…
In all of Hooterville, where theres Hooters supreme, yours are the best of the Hooters Ive seen!
[ This list copyright 1996 by Chris White and Ziff Davis, Inc. ]
[ The Top Five List top5@walrus.com http://www.topfive.com ]
[ To forward or repost, please include this section. ]
Posted in Seasonal / Holiday |
A cop pulls over a drunk driver. The drunk driver says, "Ossssifer, you need to get your records straight. You just asked me for my license, but you took it away yesterday!"
Posted in General / Unsorted |
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Hubby: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Hubby : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, What other problem can there be greater than this one ?
Posted in General / Unsorted |