En medio de la noche, un niño le grita a su padre:
¡Papá, los mosquitos no me dejan dormir, me están picando!
Bueno, hijo, apaga la luz; cierra tus ojitos e intenta dormir, responde el padre desde su habitación.
El niño se levanta a apagar la luz, pero al regresar a la cama ve una luciérnaga. Y grita de nuevo:
¡Papá, ahora me están buscando con linterna!
Quality assurance doesnt.
Real programmers write readable code, which they then self-righteously refuse to explain.
Q: What do you call a smart blond?
A: A golden retriever!
Pregnant.
Q: What does a blonde do when she wakes up? A: Go home!
A man left his cat with his brother while he went on vacation for a week. When he came back, the man called his brother to see when he could pick the cat up. The brother hesitated, then said, Im so sorry, but while you were away, the cat died." The man was very upset and yelled, You know, you could have broken the news to me better than that. When I called today, you could have said he was on the roof and wouldnt come down. Then when I called the next day, you could have said that he had fallen off and the vet was working on patching him up. Then when I called the third day, you could have said he had passed away. The brother thought about it and apologized. "So hows Mom?" asked the man."Shes on the roof and wont come down."
You can learn a lot from reading the graffiti in a bathroom, library or other public area…
The best way to a mans heart is to saw his breast plate open.
* Womens rest room, Murphys, Champaign, Ill.
If you voted for Clinton in the last election, you cant take a dump here –
Your asshole is in Washington!
* Mens rest room, Outback Steakhouse, Tacoma, Wash.
Beauty is only a light switch away.
* Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, N.C.
If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life,
then lets all get wasted and have the time of our lives.
* Armands Pizza, Washington, D.C.
Remember, its not How high are you?, its Hi, how are you?
* Rest stop off Route 81, W. VA.
God made pot. Man made beer. Who do you trust?
* The Irish Times, Washington, D.C.
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
* The Bayou, Baton Rouge, La.
No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her crap.
* Mens rest room, Lindas Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, N.C.
Its hard to make a comeback when you havent been anywhere.
* Written in the dust on the back of a bus, Wickenburg, Ariz.
A womans rule of thumb: If it has tires or testicles, youre going to have trouble with it.
* Womens rest room, Dicks Last Resort, Dallas, Tex.
Watch out for gay limbo dancers.
* Inside toilet stall door, mens rest room?
Express Lane: Five beers or less.
* Sign over one of the urinals, Ed Debevics, Phoenix, Ariz.
Youre too good for him.
* Sign over mirror in womens rest room, Ed Debevics, Beverly Hills, CA
No wonder you always go home alone.
* Sign over mirror in mens rest room, Ed Debevics,Beverly Hills, CA
What are you looking up on the wall for? The joke is in your hands.
* Mens rest room, Lynaghs, Lexington, KY
A newly married couple was walking alone in their village, along a winding country road. The husband had been trying to figure out a way to approach his new wife for sex, since they hadnt yet consummated their vows and the sexual tension was beginning to be more than he could handle.
As they walked, they came across a cow and a bull engaged in the act of reproduction.
The husband leaned over to his new bride and whispered in her ear, Darling, would you like me to do what the bull is doing?
Do what you want, she says, but take care, since that is not our cow.
Two small children are peeking through their parents slightly ajar, bedroom door, as one says to the other Boy, and she shouts at me for sucking my THUMB!?!