Un mensajero toca la puerta de la casa de Bonifacio y le abre el hijo de éste:
Buenos dÃas. Busco al señor Bonifacio Pérez de parte de Cobros Atrasados, S. A.
Mi papá no está.
¿Y tu mamá?
Ella también está escondida.
15
May
15
May
Tres amigos desauciados van a ver a un brujo de Catemaco y como ya se conocÃan bien y por su emfermedad no les importaba nada entran los tres juntos.
El Brujo le pregunta al primero:
¿Usted qué enfermedad tiene?
Verá, señor Brujo, yo padezco tuberculosis avanzada y me voy a morir. Snifff.
No, dice el Brujo, usted concoce las gaviotas?
Siii, señor Brujo y ¿eso qué?
Pues que le cuelguen dos en la espalda por una semana y esto lo curará…
Muchas gracias, señor Brujo.
Luego el brujo le pregunta al segundo:
Usted qué enfermedad tiene?
Yo señor Brujo tengo cáncer en etapa terminal y me voy a morir sniff.
Eso no pasará. A ver, amigo, ¿usted conoce las palomas?
SÃ, señor Brujo.
Bueno, que se las cuelguen en la espalda por un mes y santo remedio…
Gracias, Brujito, muchas gracias.
Va el 3ro: ¿Usted qué padece?
Yo tengo SIDA, señor Brujo.
El Brujo: Ahhhhh, chingaos, bueno, ¿Usted concoce las GOLONDRINAS?
SÃ, claro, ¿QUE ME LAS CUELGUEN?
¡Noooo, que te las toquen, porque te vas a morir!
15
May
A guy goes into a doctors office and sits down in the waiting room. After a few minutes, he hears a series of screams and moans from the examining rooms, followed by a hastily departing nun. Moments later the doctor appears, with an immensely satisfied grin on his face. Man: What on earth happened back there? Doc: I just told Sister Mary she was pregnant. Man: Goodness, is she? Doc: Of course not. Man: Well then, that was an awful thing to say! Doc: On the contrary, it cured her hiccups.
14
May
Q: How many Ethiopians does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Three. One to change it and two to squabble over who gets to eat the packaging.
14
May
Q: How many SAS programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It all depends on whether they can read the manuals or not. That needs to be in there somewhere as a qualifier!
14
May
Q: A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks Where did you get that?
A: The pig says, I won her in a raffle!
14
May
Remove their underwear.
14
May
An old man and woman were married for years even though they hated each other. When they had a fight, screams and yelling could be heard deep into the night.
A constant statement was heard by the neighbors who feared the man the most… When I die I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!
They believed he practiced black magic and was responsible for missing cats and dogs, and strange sounds at all hours. He was feared and enjoyed the respect it garnished.
He died abruptly under strange circumstances and the funeral had a closed casket. After the burial, the wife went straight to the local bar and began to party as if there was no tomorrow. The gaiety of her actions were becoming extreme while her neighbors approached in a group to ask these questions:
Are you not afraid? Concerned? Worried? that this man who practiced black magic and stated when he died he would dig his way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life?
The wife put down her drink and said. . .
Nah… let the old man dig. I had him buried upside down!
14
May
Why cant a blonde dial 911? She cant find the eleven.
14
May
The one who doesnt exist.