Reasons Women Should Not Have Freedom of Speech…
1. She doesnt need to talk to get me a beer.
2. If shes in the kitchen like she should be, no one can hear her anyway.
3. If she can talk, all shell do is complain.
4. Because she wont say I will instead of I do.
5. No man wants to hear first down during a basketball game.
6. Because PMS is no excuse for whining.
7. No man needs or wants to hear the word period unless it has to do with hockey.
8. Women created tampon and yeast infection commercials during football.
9. Affirmative action.
10. When men whistle at them in the street, they should just shut up and obey.
11. If my dicks in her mouth, she cant talk anyway.
12. Oprah.
13. Feminists.
14. Because that stupid look on her face should not be accompanied by an equally stupid statement.
15. The 2nd and 19th amendments.
16. I dont want to be made to lie and say I love you after sex.
17. Highway fatalities would decrease by over 90%.
18. When I sneak out at four in the morning, I dont want to hear anybody calling me back.
19. No, I will NOT buy you tampons while Im at the store
20. This is my dick. Im gonna fuck you. No more stupid questions.
21. Dont waste your breath, I wont respect you in the morning.
22. Women sportscasters.
23. Women congressman.
24. God forbid, a woman president. (Oops, my bad — see #66)
25. Marge Schott.
26. Stupid says as stupid does (and is).. Dikes (unless I can jump in the middle).
28. Where does speaking come into barefoot and pregnant?
29. Yes that toilet seat was yellow in the first place.
30. TLC and Salt-N-Pepa.
31. I could give a shit if youre pregnant.
32. I dont care if youre in labor. For the love of god, let me sleep.
33. They were the reason for the 18th ammendment.
34. The life expectancy of the average male goes down with every bitchy word.
35. Female drunks are annoying unless they put out (for which they don’t need to talk)
36. Were tired of their We cant pee standing up shit.
37. That damn apple.
38. If she cant speak, she cant cry rape.
39. Of course, if she cant speak, she cant say no.
40. Rosanne. Nuff said.
41. Suzanne Powter. Too much said.
42. Honestly, do they really have anything useful to say?
43. Only one set of lips should be moving at a time.
44. If she cant talk, she cant bitch when I forget important dates.
45. There are no speaking parts in pornos anyway.
46. When she talks shes not drinking, its hard to get her drunk when she talking.
47. Nothing should come out a womans mouth, SWALLOW BITCH!
48. The Mute button only works on the TV.
49. Whores get paid by the hour not by the word.
50. Helen Keller was the ultimate woman.
51. Equality is for math.
52. The credit card bill speaks for itself.
53. If it hurts, I dont wanna hear it.
54. Marcia Clark.
55. Chick-flicks.
56. You dont see Victorias Secret models talking, do you?
57. Janet, Mariah, and Whitney.
58. Michael Jackson.
59. Silence and sex make a great combination.
60. N. O. W. ? NO. NOW BITCH? YES.
61. Intelligent car conversation? Hell no. Her head should never be above the dashboard.
62. That annoying fat bitch from Snapple.
63. Your mouth is useful in so many other ways.
64. High phone bills really suck.
65. Women should be seen and not heard.
66. Do you think it was BILL Clinton who fucked up the country?
67. If I want romance, Ill turn on Playboy (hopefully not her).
68. Because theyre not men.
69. 69, finally a use for both lips at the same time.
70. If I wanted your opinion, Id ask for it.
71. Hell, if I wanted your opinion, Id give it to you.
72. Whereve you been? Who the fuck are you, my mother?
73. Women on radio? You cant see them, do you really want to hear
them?
74. Unless the words are Doctor, can you make these bigger?, shut the fuck up.
75. Big breasts should speak for themselves.