Old and New Jokes

Q. Whats the difference between an elephants fart and a cocktail saloon?

A. Ones a Bar Room and the others a BARRROOOOOOOMMMM!!!!

After much discussion the scientific community decided to try to determine why the human penis was shaped the way it was.

MIT allocated a budget of $200,000 and after 2 years research decided the the head of the penis was bigger than the shaft so that during intercourse a better seal was maintained and thus preventing leakage and ensuring fertilization.

Johns Hopkins Medical Center allocated a budget of $500,000 and after 5 years research decided that the head was bigger than the shaft in order to provide more stimulation, ensure ejaculation and thus allow for impregnation.

The fellows over at the University of Hawaii spent $2.50, bought a copy of the latest Victorias Secret catalog and reached the conclusion that the head is bigger to prevent your hand from slipping off!

I love to sleep. It really is the best of both worlds. You get to be alive and unconscious.

Two guys were hiking through the jungle when they spotted a tiger who looked both hungry and fast. One of the guys reached into his pack and pulled out a pair of Nikes. His friend looked at him. Do you really think those shoes are going to make you run faster than that tiger? I dont have to run faster than that tiger, his friend replied. I just have to run faster than you.

You got any overdue library books? Cause you got fine written all over you!

Knock Knock
Whos there?
Agnes!
Agnes who?
Agnes & Topeka & the Santa Fe!

Your so ugly and nerdy that whenever you get your ass kicked and wind up on the floor, even it rejects you!

The newest vitamin is made from chicken soup. It makes men cocky and





women lay better.

Knock Knock
Whos there?
Ollie!
Ollie who?
Ollie time you say that, I wish you would cut it out!

LAW 8: Topping a 3-iron is the most painful torture known to man.