A farmer and his daughter were coming back from town with their money from some sales and a large sack of flour when all of a sudden these highway men held them up and robbed them of everything.
A few minutes later the farmer exclaims, Were ruined, all the moneys gone and theres no flour for bread!
His daughter says, No, papa, I hid the money in my you-know-what.
The farmer said, Youre a good girl, but if your mamma was here –
she could have saved the sack of flour as well!
Two men were on an Alaskan bear hunt. On season opening morning, a light snow fell, and one man stayed in the cabin while the other man went out hunting. He soon found a huge grizzly and shot at it, but only wounded it.
The enraged bear charged toward the hunter, he dropped his rifle, and started running for the cabin as fast as he could. He ran pretty fast but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step.
Just as he reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat. Too close behind to stop, the bear tripped over the man and went rolling into the cabin.
The guy jumped up, closed the cabin door, and yelled to his friend inside, You skin this one while I go and get another!
Knock Knock
Whos there?
Datsun!
Datsun who?
Datsun old joke!
There was an englishman irishman and a scotsman who worked on a buildin site.
it was time for their dinner so the englishman opened his bait box and said if i get cheese sandwiches tommorrow i will throw myself off that bridge the scotsman and irishman say the same
so the next day comes and the englishman has cheese sandwiches so he jumps off the bridge
the scotsman looks and he also has cheese sandwiches so he jumps off the bridge and the irishman looks and he also has cheese sandwiches so he jumps off the bridge
at the funeral the wives meet up and the englishmans wife says i could of just made him another kind of sandwich the scotsmans wife says i would of got another kind of cheese the irishmans wife says i do not know why he jumped he made his own sandwiches.
What would Obi Wan say to his noisy sons.
Obi quiet.
What do you call a sheep tied to a pole in the middle of Wales?
A leisure centre!
You might be a redneck if your babys first words were, "Attention, K-mart shoppers."
Young Judy, the editor of a trivia publication, was having trouble with her computer.
So she called John, the computer guy, over to her desk. John clicked a few buttons and solved the problem. As he was walking away, Judy called after him, So, what was wrong?
And he replied, It was an ID ten T error.
A puzzled expression ran riot over Judys face. An ID ten T error? Whats that … in case I need to fix it again??
He gave her a grin … 😉 … Havent you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?
No, replied Judy.
Write it down, he said, and I think youll figure it out.
(She wrote…) I D 1 0 T
Two Americans decide to open a bungee-jumping business in Mexico. They set up on the square of a small village. Bob jumps, bounces at the end of the cord, and flies back up by the platform. Jeff isnt able to catch his friend, but he notices he has a few cuts and scratches.Bob falls again, bounces, and comes back up. This time, he is bruised and bleeding. Again, Jeff misses him. The third time it happens, Bob comes back pretty messed up – hes got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious. Luckily, Jeff finally catches him and says, "Holy cow, what happened? Was the cord too long?"Bob looks confused and says, "No, the cord was fine… but what the heck is a pinata?"