Old and New Jokes

1. Stays in bed past 5am
2. When you critize him he yells thou sucketh
3. You find his stash of colored socks.
4. He wears his big black hat backwards.
5. He has pictures of women not wearing bonnets
6. Uses slang expresions – talk to the hand cuz the beard aint listening
7. Shows up to barn raising in KISS make-up
8. Says if I had a radio, Id listen the gangster rap

Q: Why did the blonde keep a picture of herself in her room? A: So she could use it as a mirror.

You might be a redneck if you go to your family reunion to meet women!

Q: How many post-doctoral fellows does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One, but itll probably take three or four tries to get it right because he/she will probably give it to the technician to do.

Dan Quail does not support Viagra. Quote: Ive been using this stuff for a week and NOTHING! Its the worst suppository Ive ever used.

Men taking iron supplements are warned that taking Viagra may cause them to spin around and point north.

Rumor has it that when a truck carrying a load of Viagra slid off into the Ohio River, all the lift bridges suddenly went up.

New plans are being made to raise the Titanic. Experts plan to pump it full of Viagra, and expect it to raise right up.

For years the medical professional has been looking after the ill, to make them better. Now, with Viagra, theyre raising the dead!

The difference between Niagara and Viagra? Niagara Falls.

Its been said that if you take Viagra and Propecia (or use Rogain) at the same time, things work great — but you look like Don King, afterward.

A Viagra delivery truck was high-jacked: The police are looking for two hardened criminals. They expect a stiff penalty under the penal code.

Unconfirmed but frequent reports tell us that a man who overdosed on Viagra caused the funeral home problems – they couldnt close his coffin lid for 3 days.

Even so, were told that the funeral home industry is happy about Viagra overdoses: Lots of new stiffs means an upswing in business.

Knock Knock
Whos there?
Pharaoh!
Pharaoh who?
Pharaoh enough!

This is a real joke



(Its in Morse code)











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Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
A: A mental block.

– A hand full of sheet

A teacher had a class,and she tlod her students if they answer a qustion then they would get a treat.So the teacher calls jimmy to the fort of the classroom. She asked the qustion,and jimmy answers the qustion right.
So the teacher tlod jimmy to
close his eyes and open his mouth.Jimmy did as he was told,and the teacher put a hershe kiss in his mouth.Then the teacher asked him if he could guess what she put in his mouth.Jimmy replyed no I dont know.The teacher saids
Ill give you a hint.Its what your dad always wants from your mother every morning before he goes to work,and before jimmy could answer a littel girl got up and said. Oh no jimmy spit it out its a peace of ass